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p.s. god - mike harding (uk) lyrics

[verse 1]
i don’t want to sound silly, dear god
but i’ve been thinking very ‘ard
’cause our teacher said you made all the world
and even bits of our back yard
and i want to know do you have to get poshed*up
on a sunday and go walking out
in itchy clothes and squeaky boots
and if you get ’em mucked*up
does the holy ghost shout?
give you a clout?

[verse 2]
i don’t want to sound like a big girl’s blouse
but if you’re all that good
why don’t you stop them big kids at school
from bashing us infinks up
big mulqueen with his knuckly hands
keeps twisting me arm ’til i cry
if you won’t ‘it ‘im with a thunder bolt
then make me twice his size
i’ll give ‘im two black eyes
make ‘im eat snot pies and that

[verse 3]
i don’t want to sound barmy, dear god
but i’ve been thinking quite a lot
ever sincе i pinched a penny chew
from thе counter at the corner shop
teacher said pinchers go to ‘ell
and if that’s true then i’m sure
if i’d known then i was going down there
i’d have pinched a bl**dy sight more than a penny chew
i would have had two
[verse 4]
i don’t want to sound as though i’m moaning, god
in this letter i’m sending to you
but does your mam make you eat your cabbage
like my mam makes me do
i think cabbage tastes like snot
and i don’t like carrots and peas
why did you invent that muck
when you could have made ice cream grow on trees
instead of them peas and that and things

[verse 5]
so i suppose that’s all for now, god
but p.s., just a minute
last christmas time they gave me a cracker
and it had b*gg*r all in it
all the other kids had blowers and things
and they were letting them off
i don’t want to spoil it ’cause i know it’s your birthday
but i think santa claus is ripping you off
him and his elves helping themselves

- mike harding uk lyrics

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