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elegy - michael personne lyrics

my prisons a cat a
pillars holding my cell soon to fall
like they did with silas and paul
i’m sure death is my fate

to end this sentence i’ve been serving i’ve been serving
in the church but there’s sin lurking i’ve been swerving
on the verge of insanity oh so gradually
apathy mixed with agony add the internal anarchy

i’m a sinner a singer who had the rifts and the rhythms
the congregations ovations cuz of the gifts i’d been given
n0body would ever question me, lack of confrontation of detriment to my destiny
desperately they attest to the euphony as the proof of me
truthfully being suited to ministry if it’s musically

pleasing appealing to people preeing and praising, placing their gaze on my gifting
lifting my feet on to stages staging parades that are glistening it’s a
farce a façade that conceals the dark in my heart
to be real it’s far from the mark as revealed by carnal remarks i bought
books on theology thinking that they would do the job
now my mind’s consumed up in a room of fog

i could recount my splurging on spurgeon i’m now in search of a surgeon
to pounce and purge all the scourge that i’ve felt has swerved my discernment
to turn from circuits of scripture and burn a perfected picture
to earn the murkiest mixture of earthly curses afflictions
, addictions
diction profanity filled, i’m what calamity k!lled
vanity’s thrill got me dancing this is insanity still

high intensity exercise of the mind serves to emphasise the decline
as i swirl and swallow the slime that’s from agony’s pill
i self medicate with self pity to manage my ills (my life’s a mess man)
and though i feel a bit calmer through this catharsis
inside i feel like i’ve died like the saints and pastors at sardis

like can i handle the truth? i’m the brand of a builders boot
and i crawled and trawled on the tree trunk so i could nyam on the fruit
been infected like i’ve laid with a lady laden with syphilis
soon to be slain with shame and now natures arranged my chrysalis
cocoon’s the code word for the coffin that i’ll be fitted in
(fitted in but unfit for positions that i was given)

now my ident-ty’s dented cuz it essentially centred
around my gifting i’m drifting and i’ll eventually venture
into the morgue for my morphing i’m mourning morning to evening
body horizontal position my forehead forced at the ceiling

sealing my fate, fake faith the fatal feature
my faulty foundations deepen the hole as i’m faint and weakened
my soul cannot take the grief and the groans the decay is eating my bones
as i pray for freedom to roam from this place that keeps me alone
in a cage of feelings i moan, medicate my grieving’s console
setting straight beliefs which i’ve owned that relate to keeping a code
of expected behaviour savour the taste and flavour of fame
prost-tute your gifting whilst risking what’s best to make you a name

yeah i did it, and it’s resulted in death
this elegy sucks my energy, i’m consulting my flesh
i operated in purpose no preparation and service without salvation
i’m nervous because d-mnation is surely what’s next
jesus i’ve served in your name solely for the purpose of fame
free me from the circus of shame i plead with you now

you wore a coat of flesh thrived and lived in it perfectly, died with rivers of burgundy
so i could lay my burdens right by the river like bermondsey
my heart is cold would someone revive the rhythm with urgency
and now i’ve got these vivid and violent visions of purgatory
(even though its not biblical) but i’m ending my journey
my i only hope is that you will extend a measure of mercy

-silence-

i’m coughing i’m in my coffin, cacophony of the scoffing
is stopping me as i’m plotting my plan of escape
i’ll now venture into a realm called death
with both hands on the handles of faith
my story is finished

just as i think i’m on the brink to disintegrate and be over
i blink and wake from my coma with scintillating scotoma
i sniff amazing aromas, my wings are blazing jehovah
has infiltrated and traded my place in death

no longer an elegy but a rebirth is the name that i’m calling this
melancholy and mourning was all for the metamorphosis
morphed into something more i’m in awe i feel the endorphins
the door unlocked i’m implored to preach more to people and talk of this

- michael personne lyrics

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