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fear - michael agnew lyrics

i’m afraid of a lot of things
i’m afraid of the dark, of public speaking
of dying alone, of those awkward greetings
where he goes for a handshake and i go for a knuckle bump
and i end up looking like an absolute chump

i’m afraid of looking dumb
there’s so much to overcome
i’m afraid of being mugged
that i’ll never find true love
i’m afraid that my wife will wake up one morning and say she’s had enough
and that i’ll be like one of those bums that you find on the street corner
just asking for some spare quarters

you see, no matter how old i get
i can’t seem to loosen the grip of fear from my lips
i used to have a stutter and a lisp
my s’s would “thound like thith”
and it was so embarrassing to where even now the remnants of my stutter and lisp
play a much bigger emphasis on my life than i care to admit

i can’t seem to forget
the not too silent diss from the kids in middle school
saying, “silly michael spit it out!”
“sounding like porky the pig with a sponge in his mouth.”
soaking up all the s syllables as i would stumble over my words
until i would just stop speaking so my stutter wouldn’t be heard
and i know that may sound absurd
but i used to think that i was just this little dude
whose throat swelled up in interviews for fear that stuttering is not what winners do
i used to tell girls that they could pick some bigger dude
who could converse over dinner food
without sounding like clueless like mr. magoo
but one day god said, “michael in your weakness my glory will shine through”

and i don’t really know what happened
it was definitely not from any of my actions
but like a holy spirit chemical reaction
my stutter was soon overcome

this is for the ones who think that no one notices
who’s days are filled with hopelessness
i am living proof that you have a purpose
that your testimony goes further than just what is on the surface

because if god could take david, a little shepherd boy
and make him king with no bloodline of royalty
if he could use paul, a man who hated the church
to become the leading ambassador of the gospel
if he could use the disciples
men who were told that they were not good enough
to become the foundations of the church
then he can use you
so don’t give up and don’t count yourself out
don’t sell yourself short when you have the spirit of the lord

because there’s no one who can break you
no one who can take you
no one who can shake you
because the one who created you
is bigger than all of that

he’s bigger than all of your fears
from all of those years, and those tears
from crying on your pillow because you just wanted to be normal
but god doesn’t use those that are normal
he uses those who are willing, willing to be themselves

so be you
the individual
not the you that you’ve pieced together from magazine models or nicholas sparks novels

be you
the uniquely created
special and sacred individual
you

the one with experiences
opinions and beliefs
the things that make you unique
your scars share them
your broken hearts wear them
don’t let others critical remarks pierce you in the arms like barbs to where they hold you back from being you
stay true to being you
no matter what others might do stay true to being you
because in your weakness god’s glory will shine through
just stay true to being you

- michael agnew lyrics

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