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happiness - micah peay lyrics

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[verse]
i just turned 20
move on over i’m tryna fly
party hats and swing dances next to the fox’s fire
tie a tie around the card tie from my auntie ty
i just turned 27
surprised i’m still alive
planned to be gone by 26 but it ain’t work out
couldn’t do that to mons
couldn’t imagine that hurt
so now i dream of a he*rs* to escape the hurt
vindictive vendetta ventriloquist setter (unintelligible)
background character to my own f*ckin life
broke my tour bud light
sing alone in the dark
my girlfriend pregnant again
d*mn child support
i really shouldn’t care but i couldn’t love by force
is it me or not?
thriving off the pain of stomach nuts
i tried drugs but really didn’t like them a lot
so now it’s me and my rings
obsession never too seems
until i realize i tell myself what i want to hear not what i need
i just turned 39
got more albums than smiles
went through my second divorce
i guess tears are in style
who i’m dressing up for?
is it the mirror or store?
hang by this pocket watch chain swing from closet to door
i’m fed up
fed myself with amatoxin for rush
still ain’t work
no reason
try again
still seething
god why aren’t you speaking?
i thought you loved me
but i don’t love me
but those are empty words so lovely
from my eyes drip honey
doctor says that i’m seeing things
but i don’t see anything
to bleak to end the scene
but that ain’t still too freeing
these melted and broken wings
but it must be my fault
it’s always my fault
the reason i’m here
sh*t
it must be my fault
the reason for addiction
it must be my fault
that’s the only way it makes sense
don’t tell me to change it
facing another day as i sit and waste away
(last note)

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