life watching - mia stegner lyrics
[verse 1]
at 5 am i open notes and i type into a little screen
all the things i wish i still thought maybe he’d wanna know
i wonder which words he never read, which one he liked
and if he ever heard me or if in one ear, out the other i’d always go
[pre*chorus]
you told me what’s normal, but i already know
i’ve spent my whole life watching how other people go
[chorus]
so, please don’t say my name, when you’re to blame
for blocking my aim, to ease my pain
i know you claim, it was never the same
the way we frame the best way to play the game
and i wish you felt shame
and then i feel ashamed for wishing cause i still think
you’d feel bad if you knew how much it hurts
to have someone make the fear lighter, turn your days a little brighter
then turn around and make it worse
[verse 2]
i still feel bad for making him feel bad
even though he doesn’t seem to feel real bad
i can’t help but hope that maybe he’s a little bit sad
and then i feel bad
i tried to tell him how to let me down easy
without breaking me or making me queasy
tried to help him help me not regret the choice to try
i’m left wondering why
[pre*chorus]
he told me what’s normal, when i already know
i’ve spent my whole life watching how other people go
[chorus]
so, please don’t say my name, when you’re to blame
for blocking my aim, to ease my pain
i know you claim, it was never the same
the way we frame the best way to play the game
and i wish you felt shame
and then i feel ashamed for wishing cause i still think
you’d feel bad if you knew how much it hurts
[chorus]
so, please don’t say my name, when you’re to blame
for blocking my aim, to ease my pain
i know you claim, it was never the same
the way we frame the best way to play the game
and i wish you felt shame
and then i feel ashamed for wishing cause i still think
you’d feel bad if you knew how much it hurts (i wish you felt shame)
[chorus]
so, please don’t say my name, when you’re to blame
for blocking my aim, to ease my pain
i know you claim, it was never the same
the way we frame the best way to play the game
and i wish you felt shame
and then i feel ashamed for wishing cause i still think
you’d feel bad if you knew how much it hurts
to have someone make your life better
then turn around and make it worse
you’d feel bad if you knew how much it hurts
to have someone make the fear lighter, turn your days a little brighter
then turn around and make it worse
[outro]
at 5 am i open notes and i type into a little screen
all the things i wish i still thought maybe he’d wanna know
i wonder which words he never read, which ones he liked
and if he ever heard me or if in one ear, out the other i’d always go
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