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mr kayek's meatpie nightmare - mediexcalibur2012 lyrics

i woke up late this morning
waken by my third leg snoring
my stomach’s issuing a warning
(where’s my bl**dy food?)
told it to stop being a b*tch
i threw my shoe right at the switch
time to eat something that’s rich
but what i saw changed my mood

i had a stash of meat pies here ready to be devoured
i eat meat pies like p*ssy, now they’re hiding like a coward
none in the cupboard, (gah!) none in my place
so i jumped out the window with full embrace
to the shops i go, treating this like a race
but near my facе i see
no f*cking meat pies!
guh! wherе are my peat pies?
gah! where the h*ll are they hiding?
i ain’t leaving without my pies
get to work, the pies you’ll bring
guh! where are my peat pies?
you dare think i am dumb?
(sir, the only box that has them has nothing but a bunch of crumbs)

i burned down the shops ’cause you’re useless to me
anger building up inside as i put the fires out with my pee
i know where my pies are, i was blind, now i see
that stingy d*ckhead morrison took all my meat pies to hawaii
so i found where he was and i kicked him in the nuts
then this cop said to stop it so i kicked him in the nuts
then i found this small puppy and i…
played fetch with it

come here, boy! come on! get the stick! get the stick! go fetch! good boy! that’s a good boy!

then sometime later, i’ll kick everyone in the nuts
anzac bridge ** in the nuts
opera house ** in the nuts
that annoying karen at the shops
kicked her right in the nuts
big banana ** in the nuts
and the queen ** in the nuts
but i accidentally k!lled her so now i rule the world
that’s right, you w*nkers!
it says so in the australian rule book:
“thou who kicks the queen in the nuts and k!lls her is now the ruler of the world”
so you’re all my b*tches
ah ha ha ha ha ha!

as i strut down the hall with a shine in my eye
i see bodies laying down with squashed nuts inside
with the power of the world in the palm of my hand
i’m gonna use it to blow up this entire land

that’s right, you assh0l*s!
all i wanted was a meat pie, and you all failed me
now you’ll suffer the wrath of a man without a meat pie!
activate the big red rockets!

guh! you lost my meat pies
gah! you make me hurl
guh! now sit back as i blow up the entire world!
guh! blow up the galaxy
gah! blow up the universe
guh! i got no meat pies so you’re about to get something worse

heh heh
wait a minute
oh, i had my meat pies in my jacket pocket this entire time. how silly of me. there we are
what you lookin’ at? the song’s over! f*ck off!

- mediexcalibur2012 lyrics

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