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wake in fright (song for ralph ellison) - mc vague lyrics

[verse 1:]
life is a b-tch, but is she still worth f-cking?
i am not george lucas, i am not howard the duck-ing
which means i never half–ss these raps
but am i even that good, i’m not cul-de-sac
that’s the kind of sh-t you never hear a rapper say
about how he’s not good, not even in his own way
maybe i’ll get paid for this someday
cause these free downloads don’t help much on pay-day
my rent hurts, it’s not that affordable
i got everything i ever like dr. horrible
man, this sh-t must get confusing
cause i say that i’m the best but then i say i’m losing
i’ve got a big thing for gillian jacobs
but i’ll never be with her, i’ve just gotta wake up
i’ll probably never even lose my virginity
like how they’re losing channels on directv and xfinity
i show up to school in my invisible man t-shirt
hoping that maybe it’ll get respect from a teacher
i see that kid and think that he is me last year
but i just got to bide my time and wait to get past here
d-mn, all these people don’t even say “hi” to me
you say that you are busy, but please, just don’t lie to me
i don’t even think that anyone remembers me
but then i get real awkward and i just can’t leave
somewhere, between the fear and self-loathing
there has to be a light or at least something that is golden
i thought that i had made some actual progress
but all the demons that i tamed turned out to be fake monsters
i try to calm myself down with fake mantras
but all the cosmos are against me, contra
i’m sorry if you feel that i’m a wet blanket
but if you mean that as a compliment i’ll take it

[verse 2:]
it seems that middle-school nathan’s still a part of me
still so awkward, f-ck sh-t up, too many apologies
they say “vague, be a businessman, be a professional,”
but i’m too honest, turn these songs into confessionals
i’ve been staying up each and every single night
cause these 3 am feelings they don’t feel right
lost in a perry como, “prisoner of love” by james brown
and i wonder will i die or wear that th-rned crown?
who am i, like jean valjean
a f-cked-up kid who puts on his shorts wrong?
you say to stop with the self-deprecation
i say “you piece of sh-t, you’re not my friend”
congratulations
congratulations

- mc vague lyrics

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