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hey pretty boy - mc crumbsnatcher lyrics

[verse 1]
you know i called up my friend
’cause i needed some ripe -ss
’cause i haven’t gotten laid since late last night
i said, “i’ve got a b-n-r crisis
if you could be nice, it’s a pity to be celibate when you’re as hot as i”
as i started freaking out and getting twitchy in the neck
i said, “my b-lls are overflowing like my sac is gonna split!”
he said, “calm your -ss down, boy, and show some respect
you wanna pretty, pretty boy, here’s how to go about it:
you gotta buy us dinner (what?) not the diners, okay?
you gotta treat us better (how?) open the door for me
you gotta write us little pieces of poetry
and when you’re laying down, you gotta get snuggly.”
i said, “ugh, you buy me dinner
ain’t my d-ck big enough?”
and i already like to suck ‘em
but now i have to pay up
but i knew that it was right
and if i wanna get laid, i’ll have to fake it like a gentleman with your exact ways

[chorus]
hey, hey there, pretty boy
with lipgloss on your lips
i think you’re beautiful
so please just let me f-ck you
i love the way you smile
the way you move your hips
you’ve got my heart a-meltin’
please just let me f-ck you
hey, pretty baby
i can see you dancing over there
i love the shimmer coming from the glitter in your hair
you know i’m only kidding when i tell you i’m a player
boy, i think i’m in love with you
please just let me f-ck you!

[verse 2]
and so i searched through my facebook friends
found a man that i’d like to bang
and i typed up a little message
with a poem that read like this:
uh-uh-uh
‘roses are red
uh
f-ckin’ violets are blue
i wanna blow my load all over you
i wanna cram my d-ck inside of you
because i think that you are beautiful’
and my phone began to ring immediately
it was the pretty f-ggot i was messaging
and he was talking all this sh-t about loving me
and all i heard was, “blah, blah, suck me”
i bought a dozen roses for the trick
one for reach and shove my d-ck
he proposed as he rode the tip
i said, “let’s get married, b-tch!”
and i sang it to him

- mc crumbsnatcher lyrics

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