please everybody (the touring song) - matthew blake lyrics
[henry, keith and band]
travelling along on a really nice day
don’t you just love a*doing a touring play
[henry]
i do like costumes
[keith]
i love collaboration
[henry]
i like big lights
[band]
service stations!
[keith]
the director giving me precise direction
then i just do something that feels right!
[henry]
it’s about connection!
[henry, keith and band]
theatre’s a temple
with every soul
gathering together
with the same goal:
[henry]
to look at me
[keith]
to look at me
[henry]
to look at me
[keith]
to look at me
[henry and keith]
i mean ‘art’
[henry, keith and band]
we’re loose from our tether
we’re travelling together
to put on a show that
everyone will love!
[band, spoken]
ladies and gentlemen, we present oscar wilde’s an ideal husband
starring the marquis of anglesey as the ideal husband
and mr alexander keith as a non*ideal husband
[henry, keith and band]
curtain up!
[keith]
how do you think it went?
[henry]
how d’you think it went?
[band]
how do you think it went?
[henry and band]
you first
[keith]
okay, i think it’s the first week
i think we’re all still tired from rehearsal
but other than that it went well!
[henry and band]
it went well, it went well!
[henry, keith and band]
i think they liked it
[henry]
that lady with the notebook was a bit distracting
i think i stared at her in basically all of my acting
[keith]
was there something just a little unexciting?
[henry]
even with the haze effects and all of that lighting?
[keith]
but trying to second guess the audience is tough
[henry]
maybe it just wasn’t fabulous enough
[henry, keith and band]
oh well
you can’t please everybody all the time
travelling along on a pretty nice day
don’t you just love a*doing a touring play
[keith]
i like the smell of the stage and the backdrop *
[henry]
and the sky!
[band]
i love being paid to make strangers cry
[keith]
the ducking and diving, the rolling with punches
[henry]
the feeling aliveing!
[band]
unionised lunches!
[keith]
we’re riffing some changes
[henry]
living on the edge!
[keith]
responding to feedback!
[band]
i just drove in a hedge!
[henry and keith]
never mind! because we’re
[henry, keith and band]
light as a feather
we’re travelling together
to put on a show that
everyone will love
[band, spoken]
we present a searing adaptation of oscar wilde’s masterpiece:
‘an eye dot deal forward slash husb and?’
starring mr alexander keith as the ideal husband
and the marquis of anglesey as crystal, the family dog
[henry, keith and band]
curtain up!
[henry]
how do you think it went?
[keith]
how d’you think it went?
[band]
how do you think it went?
[henry and keith]
you first
[band]
okay, i think it’s like
week five, and we’re all feeling some fatigue now
but accounting for that
[keith]
it went well!
[henry and band]
it went well, it went well!
[henry, keith and band]
no it was good i thought
[keith]
i’m not sure they really “got” it
[henry]
you’re right, more glitter, i will enter by rocket
and ten more mirrorb*lls, i want total immersion
and a sub*plot about a b*tterfly who thinks he’s a person
no sleep tonight, they’ve gotta love our guts!
[keith]
scripts out people, ’cause we’re making some cuts
[henry, keith and band]
’cause you should please everybody all the time
travelling along on a… day
don’t you just love a*doing a touring play?
[henry]
i love the cameraderie!
[keith]
i love it when people actually hit their cues
[band]
“i love it when people actually hit their cues”
[keith]
excuse me, i’m right here
[band]
i love the pub
[keith]
thank you
[band]
this used to be my hobby
i don’t have a hobby anymore
[henry]
and when the audience comes in
and they don’t know what to expect
[keith]
and they see you
and if they like you, you win
[henry]
and if they don’t like you?
[keith]
they win
and thus we’re
[henry, keith and band]
working together
h*ll for leather
to put on a show
that they have got to love!
[band, spoken]
ladies and gentlemen, we present:
‘an ideal dog’
a tone poem in seventeen identical stanzas
starring mr alexander keith as the emotional backdrop
and the marquis of anglesey in the key and titular role of crystal
[henry, keith and band]
curtain up!
[band]
how do you think it went?
[keith]
how d’you think it went?
[henry]
how do you think it went?
[keith and band]
you first
[henry]
okay well, some of them stayed, which i thought was interesting
and of course we’re near the end of the tour now, so we’re all really tired, but
[keith]
that was disgusting
[band]
awful
[henry]
really?
[keith]
oh not us, dear boy!
[band]
we were quite fine
[keith]
there’s only so much you can do to pander to an audience
[band]
quite right, i think
some people just find non*clappy forms of emotional release
[keith]
and even then, i’d rather die than make
a non*marmite piece
[keith and band]
i really think tonight the fault was theirs
[henry]
and i like that bit with the lighty*up stairs
[keith]
but it’s not our place to give an easy laugh
you’ve got to separate the wheat from the chaff
[henry, keith and band]
’cause you can’t please everybody all the time
[henry]
whatcha say?
[henry, keith and band]
you can’t please everybody
[band]
and maybe you shouldn’t please anybody
[henry, keith and band]
’cause you can’t please everybody all the time
[keith]
and that’s fine
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