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please everybody (the touring song) - matthew blake lyrics

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[henry, keith and band]
travelling along on a really nice day
don’t you just love a*doing a touring play

[henry]
i do like costumes

[keith]
i love collaboration

[henry]
i like big lights

[band]
service stations!

[keith]
the director giving me precise direction
then i just do something that feels right!

[henry]
it’s about connection!

[henry, keith and band]
theatre’s a temple
with every soul
gathering together
with the same goal:
[henry]
to look at me

[keith]
to look at me

[henry]
to look at me

[keith]
to look at me

[henry and keith]
i mean ‘art’

[henry, keith and band]
we’re loose from our tether
we’re travelling together
to put on a show that
everyone will love!

[band, spoken]
ladies and gentlemen, we present oscar wilde’s an ideal husband
starring the marquis of anglesey as the ideal husband
and mr alexander keith as a non*ideal husband
[henry, keith and band]
curtain up!

[keith]
how do you think it went?

[henry]
how d’you think it went?

[band]
how do you think it went?

[henry and band]
you first

[keith]
okay, i think it’s the first week
i think we’re all still tired from rehearsal
but other than that it went well!

[henry and band]
it went well, it went well!

[henry, keith and band]
i think they liked it
[henry]
that lady with the notebook was a bit distracting
i think i stared at her in basically all of my acting

[keith]
was there something just a little unexciting?

[henry]
even with the haze effects and all of that lighting?

[keith]
but trying to second guess the audience is tough

[henry]
maybe it just wasn’t fabulous enough

[henry, keith and band]
oh well
you can’t please everybody all the time

travelling along on a pretty nice day
don’t you just love a*doing a touring play

[keith]
i like the smell of the stage and the backdrop *

[henry]
and the sky!

[band]
i love being paid to make strangers cry

[keith]
the ducking and diving, the rolling with punches

[henry]
the feeling aliveing!

[band]
unionised lunches!

[keith]
we’re riffing some changes

[henry]
living on the edge!

[keith]
responding to feedback!

[band]
i just drove in a hedge!

[henry and keith]
never mind! because we’re

[henry, keith and band]
light as a feather
we’re travelling together
to put on a show that
everyone will love

[band, spoken]
we present a searing adaptation of oscar wilde’s masterpiece:
‘an eye dot deal forward slash husb and?’
starring mr alexander keith as the ideal husband
and the marquis of anglesey as crystal, the family dog

[henry, keith and band]
curtain up!

[henry]
how do you think it went?

[keith]
how d’you think it went?

[band]
how do you think it went?

[henry and keith]
you first

[band]
okay, i think it’s like
week five, and we’re all feeling some fatigue now
but accounting for that

[keith]
it went well!

[henry and band]
it went well, it went well!

[henry, keith and band]
no it was good i thought

[keith]
i’m not sure they really “got” it

[henry]
you’re right, more glitter, i will enter by rocket
and ten more mirrorb*lls, i want total immersion
and a sub*plot about a b*tterfly who thinks he’s a person
no sleep tonight, they’ve gotta love our guts!

[keith]
scripts out people, ’cause we’re making some cuts

[henry, keith and band]
’cause you should please everybody all the time

travelling along on a… day
don’t you just love a*doing a touring play?

[henry]
i love the cameraderie!

[keith]
i love it when people actually hit their cues

[band]
“i love it when people actually hit their cues”

[keith]
excuse me, i’m right here

[band]
i love the pub

[keith]
thank you

[band]
this used to be my hobby
i don’t have a hobby anymore

[henry]
and when the audience comes in
and they don’t know what to expect

[keith]
and they see you
and if they like you, you win

[henry]
and if they don’t like you?

[keith]
they win
and thus we’re

[henry, keith and band]
working together
h*ll for leather
to put on a show
that they have got to love!

[band, spoken]
ladies and gentlemen, we present:
‘an ideal dog’
a tone poem in seventeen identical stanzas
starring mr alexander keith as the emotional backdrop
and the marquis of anglesey in the key and titular role of crystal

[henry, keith and band]
curtain up!

[band]
how do you think it went?

[keith]
how d’you think it went?

[henry]
how do you think it went?

[keith and band]
you first

[henry]
okay well, some of them stayed, which i thought was interesting
and of course we’re near the end of the tour now, so we’re all really tired, but

[keith]
that was disgusting

[band]
awful

[henry]
really?

[keith]
oh not us, dear boy!

[band]
we were quite fine

[keith]
there’s only so much you can do to pander to an audience

[band]
quite right, i think
some people just find non*clappy forms of emotional release

[keith]
and even then, i’d rather die than make
a non*marmite piece

[keith and band]
i really think tonight the fault was theirs

[henry]
and i like that bit with the lighty*up stairs

[keith]
but it’s not our place to give an easy laugh
you’ve got to separate the wheat from the chaff

[henry, keith and band]
’cause you can’t please everybody all the time

[henry]
whatcha say?

[henry, keith and band]
you can’t please everybody

[band]
and maybe you shouldn’t please anybody

[henry, keith and band]
’cause you can’t please everybody all the time

[keith]
and that’s fine

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