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incarcerated - mattakript lyrics

verse 1:

yeah. it’s, four in the morning and i’m not even yawning
i’m walking exploring the sector as the silence is calling
strolling the area, so as i step through the city
it’s all too empty except my concerns, they just with me
but we don’t really talk except on rarest occasions
because they never want to listen they just stare when i say things
and every time they speak to me they give me advice
asking what’s the useless point to keep on living this life?
when you know that you’re suffering from a sickness in your head
that numbed you catatonically and ripped you into shreds
and you’re taking medications shoving pills down your throat
praying deeply that these tablets can reveal you some hope
and every single time you hear about a future event
you practice acting so when it comes all you do is pretend
like everything’s okay and you have something to say
but when you left that psychiatric ward no nothing has changed, matt

chorus:

i’ve been living inside my head
but it’s far from a home
it’s more like a prison
(and i don’t have the privilege seeing visitors)
(thoughts are the only crime when this occurs)

verse 2:

imagine not having a single emotion or feeling at all, completely deprived
waking up every day and you’re not even feeling awake or alive (or dead)
get out of bed then you pick out your clothing you head to the bathroom and start undress
soaking your body then walk out water brush every tooth and you still don’t feel fresh
grabbing your bag then you skate out the gate and you almost got hit by a car
not feeling a flinch, a twitch, nor even a motherf-cking beat has skipped your heart
look up ahead and you check if the bus has arrived
you can’t tell, when you don’t feel a second, a minute, an hour, a day or a week any measure of time
imagine you holding your nephew, who was just recently born
taking his hand in yours, skin is so gentle and warm
now imagine a family member has died, committed his suicide
decided to take his life, granting a wish of not being alive
f-ck imagination that was all from me now try go believing
through all of that i felt nothing, even though i try screaming
i’m like a robot (malfunctioned) with a system that’s failed
and i just want to stick a blade in me and rip out the cables

chorus:

i’ve been living inside my head
but it’s far from a home
it’s more like a prison
(and i don’t have the privilege seeing visitors)
(thoughts are the only crime when this occurs)

outro/bridge:

my family and friends think i’m okay
but they don’t see the godd-mn lie
(don’t get me wrong they all care)
you heard what i said?

i’ve lost my soul it’s gone away
the only thing i own’s an empty mind
(you can’t repair what’s not there)
i’m already dead

- mattakript lyrics

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