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my idea of heaven - matt pless lyrics

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if i were a god, i’d make a lot of milkshakes
pour them down on people, watch them all go crazy
if i were a god, i’d fry a lot of bacon
put it in the milkshakes, my idea of heaven
bacon in a milkshake, my idea of heaven

if i were a g*nius, i could make you love me
but i’m not a g*nius cause n0body loves me
if i were a g*nius, i could write equations
i could p-ss the math test but i’d never solve them
i could spell the math test but i’d never solve them

if i crack a bottle, i could swallow vodka
walking into brick walls, acting like my father
if i crack a bottle, i could swim in whiskey
i’d forget my lover cause she doesn’t miss me
i’d forget my lover cause she doesn’t miss me

if i were a record, i’d be getting dizzy
spinning ’round in circles, sticking needles in me
if i were a record, i’d be wearing vinyl
dressing like a rockstar, going out of style
dressing like a rockstar, going out of style

if i were a cellphone, i’d call in a bomb threat
almost got arrested but i shot the sheriff
if i were a cellphone, we could learn our lesson
i will leave a voicemail if you text a message
i will leave a voicemail if you mail a message

if i were a god, i’d fry a lot of bacon
put it in the milkshakes, my idea of heaven
if i were a god, i’d find it quite perplexing
balancing the bacon, trying to please the vegans
bringing home the bacon but i love the vegans

- matt pless lyrics

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