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trauma is a stalker - mary lambert lyrics

what if i told you trauma is a stalker?
follows me room to room
visits me at work
leaves dead animals on my day planner
texts me knives
l!cks my memory before i have a chance to get it right
i’m digging myself into the carpet
learning how to make wool imprints on my kneecaps
this is how i learned to dance
with half of my body on fire
there is not enough whiskey in the world
to make any of this bearable
but i have been screaming in the bas-m-nt of my trauma
trying to find a window
a light, a string, a sound
something that doesn’t read “helpless,”
something that doesn’t read “sad girl crying all the time,”
a wreck in a shower
a wet mess huddled in a bed
don’t look at me like that
like i can do better
like this sadness is a well that i jumped into on purpose
nothing is on purpose
my mania is so stupid and marvelous
it sits in a gl-ss jar
t–tering on the kitchen counter
i am always one slipped rug away from losing everything

- mary lambert lyrics

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