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dance: ten; looks: three - marvin hamlisch lyrics

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[val]
(spoken)
but after a while i caught on. i mean, i saw what they were hiring. i also swiped my dance card once after an audition, and on a scale of ten, they gave me for dance, ten, for looks, three. well!

dance, ten
looks, three
and i’m still on unemployment
dancing for my own enjoyment
that ain’t it, kid
that ain’t it, kid

“dance, ten
looks, three,”
it’s like to die!
left the theater and
called the doctor for
my appointment to buy

t-ts and -ss
bought myself a fancy pair
tightened up the derriere
did the nose with it
all that goes with it

t-ts and -ss!
had the bingo-bongos done
suddenly i’m getting national tours!
t-ts and -ss won’t get you jobs
unless they’re yours

didn’t cost a fortune neither
didn’t hurt my s-x life either

flat and s-ssy
i would get the strays and losers
beggars really can’t be choosers
that ain’t it, kid
that ain’t it, kid

fisxd the ch-ssis
“how do you do!”
life turned into an
endless medley of
“gee, it had to be you!”
why?

t-ts and -ss!
where the cupboard once was bare
now you knock and someone’s there
you have got ’em, hey
top to bottom, hey

it’s a gas!
just a dash of silicone
shake your new maracas and you’re fine!
t-ts and -ss can change your life
they sure changed mine

have it all done
honey, take my word
grab a cab, c’mon
see the wizard on
park and seventy-third
for

t-ts and -ss
orchestra and balcony
what they want is whatcha see
keep the best of you
do the rest of you

pits or cl-ss
i have never seen it fail
debutante or chorus girl or wife

t-ts and -ss
yes, t-ts and -ss
have changed my life!

- marvin hamlisch lyrics

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