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those characters died - marc gunn lyrics

rat robbed a dragon level 32 beware
little did he know it was tiamat’s lair
runt went to tiamat to seek is revenge
is hairy halfling toes were completely singed
dag was backstabbed drinking beer, what a way to end his career!

those are characters who died, died
those are characters who died, died
those are characters who died, died
those are characters who died, died
they were all my charactеrs, and they died

kablina wore a quivеr of ehlonna on his back
a staff of the magi he wielded for attacks
with magic rings and cloaks and spells he couldn’t lose
a giant got a crit, he was knocked out of his shoes
kablina saved kingdoms for heaven’s sake, i can’t believe he died

keff was bitten by an ugly lycanthrope
he lived a happy life, but was strangled by a rope
sir feta was a paladin and defender of the faith
he was k!lled by undead and came back as a wraith
that wraith k!lled king zimbar. they were characters of mine!

cathng was an elf, who wasn’t quite right
he hacked off body parts and started organ fights
he took on a horde of hobgoblins all alone
body parts started flying one caught him with a bone
cathng only smiled at the irony. before he died
a roll of the dice and cu stronghold was the best
with his falchion sword and leather armor on his chest
he summoned a pseudo dragon and rode a magic rug
til his familiar was enfeebled by one of his own thugs
then cu was k!lled by his enfeebled dragon. why did they have to die?

nehaunta was a cleric as wise as can be
he got a ring of wishes while only level three
what kind of dungeon master would let him raise his stats
it was me so i k!lled him off with some vampire bats
i don’t remember him, but he died

creld was a magic*user, thief acrobat
a good grey elf with a familiar black cat
no way he to be defeated while in the dirkwood forest
his psionics got him k!lled in a battle with a florist
a florist? is that really what happened? how did he die?

delmar was a fighter of great renown
he fought so well that he won the greyhawk throne
with a thousand hit points in a monty haul campaign
he died fighting gods and i had to flush him down the drain
delmar should’ve died sooner. he was a character of mine

i found all these characters in a notebook from youth
the memories flooded back and i’m telling you the truth
i look back now and wonder how on earth i lasted
with so many characters lying dead in their caskets
i have so many fond memories… of how they all died!

- marc gunn lyrics

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