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jedi drinking song prequel - marc gunn lyrics

a long time ago before vader’s s*xual peak
i met him there on tattooine, he drank like he was greek
his momma said he’s been this way since he was only three
qui gon in awe said, “he’s the one to fulfill the prophecy.”

qui gon took young anakin the council for to see
but yoda said, “afraid am i, drink irresponsibly.”
so qui gon told anakin, “watch how i drink and all”
then poor old qui gon drank too many shots with darth maul
so drink yourself a shot of scotch, then down a pint of beer
do not think that you can drink that boy under a chair
because anakin will slam a beer with a lassie on each knee
and when he finally sobers up, a sith at last he’ll be
c3p0 was well*designed to be a great bartеnder
he could make six million drinks and put you on a bеnder
with r2d2 by his side, he had a keg on wheels
and for amadala, ani drunk had extra force appeal

i told my master qui gon jinn i’d teach the boy to drink
“no more than just one pint an hour.” said anakin, “that stinks!
amidala likes me best when i’m all liquered up.”
so he used the force to bring a round, then knocked the lassie up

[solo]
when we drink, drunk we get
when drunk we are, free of distraction are our minds
when free of distraction, one with the force we become
so drunk let’s get and become one with the force
(hurry, we must. jedi happy hour starts at 5.)
meanwhile, chancellor palapatine needed a new lush
he ordered grog for anakin so he’d never sober up
the twins were born but how i wish that one more thing could be
that all the fans were all quite drunk with star wars 1 through 3

- marc gunn lyrics

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