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ballpark figure - malcom mufunde lyrics

[verse 1]
my daddy was a boozehound before he found god
and it took a lot of christ before the demons bumped off
had to cut a deal with god, if you save my father
i’mma worship you today and then every day after
but i’m no goody two-shoes, i haven’t been to the lord’s house
in years, they say a constant guest is never welcome
now i know i’m not honoring my end of the deal
and that puts me in a bind, i should be writing my will
as i quake in my boots with one foot in the grave
another nail in the coffin is i no longer believe
and i don’t know what it means to have my heart on my sleeve
but i can feel my heart beat up to my arm when i breathe
if it’s a sign from you, then i will eat a humble pie
apologize for my doubts, admit i was living a lie
i was chasing the glam instead of the scriptures of life
talk to me and i’ll separate the wheat from the chaff
i understand it may seem like i’ve got the memory of a sieve
like you didn’t intervene when dad drank like a fish
but i’m in the middle of the road between chance and divinity
i don’t wanna pay dearly for the things i’m believing in
give me something to work with and i’ll do what you ordered
and i’ll make myself at home in every church that i know about
can’t buy a place in heaven but we all got a price
and i know it don’t come cheap but quote a price for my life

[chorus]
i’m at the end of my rope, i’m at the start of a slope
i’ve lost my mind and my faith and it cost me a lot
i’d say two-thirds my life but that’s a ballpark figure
now i’m looking at my life like it’s not mine either
i’m at the end of my rope, i’m at the start of a slope
i’ve lost my mind and my faith and it cost me a lot
i’d say two-thirds my life but that’s a ballpark figure
now i’m looking at my life like it’s not mine either

[verse 2]
if i have to face the music, i need to know the composer
i need to know who made the seas before i fall in deep water
i’m up the creek with no paddle, contemplating existence
what’s the purpose of it all? we all drown in the deep end
curiosity k!lled the cat but ignorance is still lethal
what’s a seed of wisdom if i never get to reap that?
i tried to make a quick buck and cashed in on my life
sold my soul to the devil and the customer’s always right
i don’t trust the evangelist on the idiot box
with his watered down gospel making money from hopes
and i feel like the church is a license to print money
the t-the cost an arm, a leg and other parts of my body
speak of the devil, hey reverend, are your ears burning?
how many drifters benefiting from the cash you’ spending?
i’m just trynna keep my body and my soul together
but what’s the logic if i spot you in the latest ranger?

- malcom mufunde lyrics

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