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garfphobia - malcolm it lyrics

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(ladies and gentlemen! garfield and friends!)

[verse 1]
when i wake up, i grab the paper off the mat
open up, i only see that awful cat
and in the back, the funnies only bring me horrors
too bad, that every day, there’s only more

and at the store, he’s on balloons and cards and toys
a sick trick for any cautious girl or boy
and then at bed, i couldn’t slumber if i tried
in my head, that horrid orange cat resides

[chorus]
because he haunts me every day
he only causes pain
his face won’t leave my head
i’d honestly rather be dead
lasagna eating freak
that i just can’t unsee
he’s a dog kicker and he’s overweight
if i can’t stop him now, it’ll be too late

[verse 2]
it just got worse, he only lingers in my mind
i can’t go, who knows if he’s waiting outside
there’s just no chance i’ll ever conquer his deception
again
i only need my self*protection
the color orange only gives me panic attacks
and bill murray only makes my fears come back
oh, jim davis, why would you make something like that
i can’t take it, there’s no hiding from garfield’s wrath

[chorus]
because he haunts me every day
he only causes pain
his face won’t leave my head
i’d honestly rather be dead
lasagna eating freak
that i just can’t unsee
he’s a dog kicker and he’s overweight
if i can’t stop him now, it’ll be too late

(oooh)
(oooh)
(oooh)
(oooh)

[verse 3]
it’s time to stop it all
and end this crazy ball
there’s no way he’ll know
i’ll conquer my fears and away he’ll go
say his name in the mirror
and then he will appear
stab the blade of mondays right into his heart
and just like that, he’ll fall apart
(if someone wants you to change the channel, kids, just say no.)

- malcolm it lyrics

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