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archive - mal blum lyrics

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spending friday night alone
i’m reading campus frat boy p-rn
strewn on the table for my roommate
when he finally gets home
but just one night ago, three flights ago
i’m back in michigan
another trip i won’t remember
or appreciate much when i’m dead

and the hotel where i slept that night
was surely haunted, then
because every hour, i woke up feeling
so watched and wanted and
i think i remember that from when we met
which feels so insignificant
or maybe odd now to admit
it’s all in retrospect, oh

and so i spent the winter bundled up
pretending i was sane
and giving up
the things i love the most
because they felt like pain

and it’s so obvious
this jaded bunch
we don’t believe in ghosts and such
we watch the hunt incredulous
but cannot look away

and you looked at me
like i was a piece of meat
so i was a piece of meat
for a time

but you were a vegetarian, so i became a vegetarian
then when you started eating meat, i also started eating meat
and i lied to all my friends, said i was happy when i wasn’t
and you lied to all yourselves
said i could give you what you wanted
but it all feels so much bigger than
some blame-filled, lonely break up
like all our narratives and mortality only distill to
oh my god, we’re gonna die

we’re gonna die and maybe it’s gonna be alone
we’re gonna die and maybe it’s gonna be alone
and no one will find the things we left behind

because
because we
because we never thought to leave a f-cking archive

- mal blum lyrics

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