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a ballad for mama - mackavon lyrics

[verse 1]

mama all i wanna do is make this sh-t better
you know all i wanna do is make this sh-t better
but it feels like there’s a personal vendetta
for a n-gga like me when will it get better
don’t let this n-gga control you mama
this n-gga ain’t sh-t he all about the drama
always coming home drunk talking bout some commas
i can’t take this sh-t get this n-gga out the house mama
he got some personal issues he gotta deal with
but don’t take it on yourself to be the one to deal with
the sh-t thats going through this n-ggas f-cked up mind
and she forgive this n-gga like every single time
the cycle continues and i feel so helpless
like all i wanna be is a little bit selfless
but i already feel like i’m a little bit selfish
for making it about me like ain’t that selfish
mama the one that going through it but she gotta realize
she gotta get this n-gga all the way out of our lives
if not for me then please for my sister
and i know you in there mama i really miss ya
the old you that is hope we all get it together
and people always me why i’m under the weather
i ain’t never been through sh-t like this it got me going mental
n-ggas like d-mn we understand what you been through
no the f-ck you don’t n-gga this sh-t ain’t that simple
been writing this with tears but now i’m holding up
told myself a while ago ima knock that him out when im old enough
why this n-gga still here he’s childish he ain’t never growing up
often i ask why mama tell me to embrace it
i ain’t never been the one that’s down for the faking
told mama my feelings ain’t never changing
she say i’m cold hearted i need to stop being abrasive

[hook]

it’s a cold world mama and we can’t live this way
no we can’t live this way
i just hope that we find a way
hope to god that we find a way

[verse 2]

cuz through this drama swear to god it changed me as a person
i was looking at myself in the mirror thinking i’m imperfect
wasn’t happy with myself the devil offered me a purchase
your pride for your soul the man in the mirror said you’re worthless
you can’t change the surface you got no purpose
i could give you purpose just hope you think its worth it
so what you would what do if the devil gave you an offer
an offer you couldn’t refuse sh-t you’d probably take that offer
asking if i’m writing my story am i really the author
pull the pen out like a sword become a king author
the pen mightier than the sword so f-ck that offer
i was at rock bottom devil said why bother
the devil can’t have my soul i do this for mama
i can’t lose my soul that would disappoint mama
i gotta graduate i do this for mama
i hope that yall know this whole track it’s for mama

[verse 3]

all i’m seeing is fragment of myself
constantly losing health i don’t recognize myself
all this pressure that i feel how could therapist help
i tell them this is the way i feel i feel like i’m stuck in h-ll
you lose a piece of yourself when you worry bout your family
they don’t understand me they could never understand me
n-ggas take a look at me and swear to god they understand me
i swear to god i would die for my family
so come again and say that you understand me
these b-tch -ss n-ggas can not relate when i’m angry
you ain’t seen side of me then dont -ssume sh-t
very few seen that side of me but they deserved it
people think i’m soft spoken years of bullying will do that
plus i get it from my dad that’s how i view that
mama said don’t let that sh-t get to you just ignore that
i see the world in a different light mama can’t ignore that
tainted by resentment no rose colored gl-sses
lost in the back of my head the sunken place is grabbing
my hopes of a happily ever after just imagine
you witness sh-t you never seen before that sh-t is graphic
you see your mama cry that’ll keep you so unhappy
i put in on everything mama i just wanna see you happy
don’t let n0body take that from you mama it’d be tragic
i just wanna see you smile yea that smile yea it’s magic

[skit]

realest sh-t i ever wrote, and i wrote this for mama
i called it, a ballad for mama, yea
and this whole track was just me talking to my mom
on some real sh-t, i know she gon hear, i know she gon feel this
and that’s just the way i feel

- mackavon lyrics

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