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hibbett's golden rules of beer - m.j. hibbett lyrics

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there was a time when even i
could walk into a pub
and cast my eyes over ales of many kinds
and not know which ones were any good

i had narry a clue about the nature of my booze
i couldn’t sort a porter from a stout
i’d pay two quid for undrinkable sh-t
until one day i worked the whole thing out

i saw them true
i saw them clear
i saw hibbett’s golden rules of beer
i was no fool, no, i was a seer
so i give you hibbett’s golden rules of beer

it’s not to do with gravity
and it’s not to do with the grain
you haven’t got to smell the hops
you simply need know what’s the name

look for words like honey, wheat or dew
avoid the beers call old
drink the words like autumn, summer, sun
shine, harvest, or gold

out of the dark
your path is clear
if you follow hibbett’s golden rules of beer
you’ll be well served if you are steered
by hibbett’s golden rules of beer

if the name sounds like it was thought of by three fat smelly old blokes in a brewery
only drink it if that’s who you are, but if you’re asking me…

i want to wake next day and shout “hooray!
i am reborn with the bowels of a king
my mind’s refreshed, i’ve not fallen over yet
and i feel the overwhelming urge to sing”

let’s give a slightly hungover cheer
for hibbett’s golden rules of beer
the world is fab groovy and gear
when you’ve got hibbett’s golden rules of beer

- m j hibbett lyrics

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