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welcome to homosuck - lumistarlight lyrics

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[caliborn spoken]
well that was a cr-ptastic waste of time. kudos to you for having lasted this long. fortunately for you, after my first failed attempt to usurp the storyline, i have now completely taken over. homestuck: the musical? what a stupid t-tle. my audience, welcome to h-m-suck, you may bow before me in grat-tude

[caliborn]
i think that we have found
and i do mean to be rude
that while the songs are rather pretty
well the story’s rather crude
but you cannot blame these p-wns if they’re inherently inclined
to be stupid, useless, boring
as that’s just how they’re defined

the girls were quite the snore
though admittedly attractive
but i believe that female kind should never be so active
leave it to the males instead
though you must understand
with how dumb the whole lot are
if i lend a helping hand

come with me now to a world of my creation
of moral ambiguity and objectification
i’ll be the star, the hero
and you lot will be my crew
don’t you agree that it’s time for something new

so come along
all those characters you met?
forget them all, in my new tale
they might as well be dead
all you have to do is pay attention now to me
or continue watching garbage
so come on what will it be?

[jane spoken]
get out of here, you misogynistic little

[caliborn spoken]
please wait until the performance is over

[jake spoken]
mate, that was a spot too repulsive, even for you

[caliborn spoken]
very rude, i will continue my song now

[caliborn]
ignore the ugly meatbags, i

[roxy spoken]
uh-uh, no you do not get to talk my friends like that

[dirk spoken]
yeah dude. not cool, step off

[caliborn spoken]
not you too. you were my least unfavorite

[jane]
well i’m taking on this song
and don’t you think
it would sound much better in a major key

[jake]
my dear old girl, that’s a marvellous idea
oh yes this is much better
don’t you chaps agree

[caliborn spoken]
no, this is not how my song is supposed to go

[jane spoken]
who are you even singing to? none of us like you!

[roxy spoken]
yeah we only put up with you because your sister is our friend

[caliborn spoken]
don’t talk to me about that wench

[roxy]
well i think your sister’s sweet
she’s a friend of mine
totally unlike you in every way

[dirk]
do us all a favor and just turn around
i really don’t have time to mess with you today

[caliborn spoken]
and i was going to help you

[jake spoken]
n-body wants your help, and really, who are you talking to?

[caliborn spoken]
the audience. they love me

[dirk spoken]
so you’re saying that there’s a crowd of people out there, watching us through some magical fourth wall

[caliborn spoken]
yes

[roxy spoken]
well even if there was, why watch you when you can watch this hot mess? wonk!

[jane spoken]
yeah, come on guys, let’s show this mysterious audience what we’ve got!

[jake spoken]
roll call!

[jane]
h-llo my name is jane
heiress to the crocker brand
i like to bake, investigate, and lend a hand
to any of my friends who are having a bad day
why go with him when you can go my way!

[jake]
jake english is the name!
explorer extraordinaire!
i’ve got a craving for adventure i would like to share
here at your service, just give the okay
and we’ll get right to our story so just go my way!

[roxy]
hey everyone!
i’m roxy lalonde
coolest chick you’ll ever meet, a bombsh-ll blonde
nothing’s ever wrong with a little fun, i say
so life will be a party if you go my way!

[dirk]
yo, dirk strider here
but ro-lal calles me di-stri
ain’t no fool
if you want cool
look no further you’ve ht bulls eye
the prince is here to save the day
let’s play this game
come on
it’s character select
pick who you play

[caliborn]
don’t you intrude on my moment in the spotlight
you’re all so generic
there is nothing there you’ve got right

[jane]
if this is a story

[jake]
we’re the heroes

[roxy]
we’re the stars!

[alpha kids]
because we do what’s right
that’s just the way things are

so come along
there’s a story to be had
adventure could start at the drop of a hat
what’cha gotta say?
what’cha gotta say?
what’cha gotta say about that?

[caliborn spoken]
this is a form of bullying and i will not stand for it!

- lumistarlight lyrics

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