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santa's freestyle - ltc and kwikshots lyrics

[intro: ltc]
hahaha
yeah
i just wanna announce my brand new beef
it’s with santa
surprise, surprise
i mean i don’t wanna get into it or anything
but we’ve got issues
me and the big man
we’re gonna have to fight it out

[verse 1: ltc]
got a beard and it’s weird
white as snowflakes
at the mall, told ’em all
he was so fake
kicked him in the rump and looked him right in his face
his eyes twinkled and i knew i caught a new case
santa’s real
now i’m fearing for my life, yeah
punched him out
now my clout is gone for life, yeah
reindeer watch my house from the corner
this magic geezer might send me to the coroner

[verse 2: kwikshots]
lost little midget walking out along the beach front
saw him just the other day, tumblin’ out a tube slide
his shorts fell
wow!
little people have a rump too?
i just wanna kiss him and say “santa loves you, dude!”
things like this get me scratchin’ my head
what’s the world come to
when midgets can swim?
the technologies and robots make me think kubrick was right
maybe dwarves are real and we stand no chance to fight
dangit, kubrick
you were right!
then when i learned about the holiday body count
people being gutted with their tummies inside out
i squinted up my lids cuz i smelled something funny
something revolutionary that’d have santa listed naughty
the news played around the world, but no one bats an eye
i have the deets on why these fathers kissed their babies “bye”
and why they find their nuts strung up on the willow’s branches
cuz at the scene of the crime i saw a single reindeer antler
santa’s on the prowl and he’s the one we loved most
the one we kissed and hugged and touched
and casually groped
the big man, saint nick
his beard all bl**dy red
the families may move on
but i swear i’ll k!ll him dead
for what he did

[outro: kwikshots]
that’s right, santa
you’re a goner
accept it
learn it
accept it
swallow the truth
you will learn one day
one way or the other
you will die

- ltc and kwikshots lyrics

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