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ready - louisahhh lyrics

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i’ll work, a prayer, endless night
yeah, i need a little darkness to get me going
i want it urgent, like a knife, huh
i’m red, exposed, the shadow, look deeper

i’m ready to shine the armor of my own blood
not sacrifice, it’s not sacrifice

the dialogue of the martyr makes me sick; and now, now
i’ve caught a current, now. i’ll try to tell the truth
sometimes, it tastes like metal, sometimes
it’s grotesque. it’s grotesque

the gutting is necessary, though. flip-flop, gasping open, like a fish
allowing the self-wrestling; allowing everything, drawn and quartered like a moth to the flame, and being fully
diversion, a distraction, a siren, a false god, a catalyst, a good vein
it wants the sick, the saint, the glutton, the thief; forgive me, the cut i make, i must, i’ll try to be gentle as we dance through

receiving the gifts when they are wrapped in black velvet
feel heavy, and hard, what suffering, it’s rent, it’s salvation, f-ck salvation
it’s redemption

an exchange of struggles for -ssets, and bright points of faith
i’ve got faith. i’ve got faith in nights

wasn’t ‘til i was on my back, struck down by self, that i could see the sky, filled with bright points of light, for you
light, for you
light, for you

shouting to the angel
“i will not let go until you bless me.”
and throw another punch

it was not until the shadow work i stopped feeling my own darkness long enough to know that as ferocious as that is
i got love. i got love on my side, i do

i shall create. but not a note, a whole. but not an overture

desecration. i know that place. that line of bloom, vacuum so well
rapacious, rapacious, devastating, weakness. we need a fondness for devastation, i’m saying, “no good can come of this.”
and i love it

but i’m well trained in the shadow’s high, better now the destroyer’s more secret encoded in some pollyanna bullsh-t
the creature that wants to be liked but never demands at what cost

i am sorry, i am sorry, i am sorry, i will not do it again, i’m so full of it sometimes that i convince even myself
and this, is the most grotesque thing to eject the hardest torn and flung out off like, like, like

instead, sitting still and waiting until it creeps into your lap like a cat shadow you up power
i love you too, in a self-seeking way
and what other tools did you have then, and you used them all up
and this is the last to go baby, it’s okay, you did enough anyway, you’re enough anyway

that is rust, you know it, let the tempest god storms up enough courage and love to grind me the truth from my own lips
i’m ready

i said, i’m ready, i’m ready, i’m ready

- louisahhh lyrics

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