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half fist - loudon wainwright iii lyrics

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i’ve seen the family photos
and the man’s a mystery
died in 1942 at the age of 43
my grandmother was his widow
and my father was his son
oh, but i know next to nothing
of the first loudon

they say he was an sob
who liked to smoke and drink
in the photos he looks handsome
attractive’s what i think
and there’s one of him in uniform
and it must have been world war i
they say he was an expert sailor
and could handle a shotgun

in the wedding portrait
posing with his young bride
his right hand, hidden by her bouquet
is left hanging at his side
closed in a kind of half-fist
unsure what he’d just done
facing his short future
like he could hit someone

it was elbows off the table
before the meal’d begun
and it’s his hands i recognize
he gave them to his son
whose own hands held and touched me
and ruffled up my hair
and i recognize that half-fist
i’d know it anywhere

later on, in the late 30s
he began to go to sea
in the photos he looks loaded;
they observe and i will heed
mugging for the camera, having a little fun
cigarette in one hand
and a drink in the other one

yes, i know a little something
about the first loudon
my grandmother was his widow
and my father was his son
tell me what are we afraid of?
why do we resist?
i spread my hands and flex my fingers
open and close my fist
i spread my hands and flex my fingers
open and close my fist

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