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losing it - $lothboi & rivilin lyrics

[$lothboi]
it’s crazy they don’t get it
just a*f*cking*live cuz i got people that be caring
standing on the edge and staring
at the faces warped from cries
if took this step to end it

walls be closing in
so i’m phoning in cuz i feel so lone
on the edge of it
cuz i’m on a binge and i know it shows
sold my soul for sh*t
boy this ain’t a skit, man i feel so cold
lost it in a fit, i was in a binge
can’t take back those
so i live with it, and i loop a bit, and i loop a bit
like i broken record i’m forgotten b*tch
i know i got a problem, made a f*cking list
knowing i’m adding daily, cuz i’m throwing fits

my mental state be going down a pit
i got an itch, which i gotta fix
cuz i’m bleeding out
from scratching all of it

[rivilin]
i say i’m happy but i’m not
fake a smile it takes a lot
no energy feeling lost
what’s the point and now you’re gone
plagued by nightmares where i’m shot
through the head and i wake up
didn’t think that was a dream
no i’m losing, losing weak

i say i’m happy but i’m not
fake a smile it takes a lot
no energy feeling lost
what’s the point and now you’re gone
plagued by nightmares where i’m shot
through the head and i wake up
didn’t think that was a dream
no i’m losing, losing weak
yeah
i hear these ghost
yeah outside my hallway
my windows covered in ash at the moment
i don’t think i’ll ever escape from this
the walls start to breathe
and the eyes just open up

moving back and forth like i’m in a body
of some disfigured by*product of hate
i guess i’ll make my home right here
cus i’m more comfortable
being trapped inside than exposed

to the daylight of the morning
where i hear pretty whispers
just calling my name
and i wake up in a daydream
thinking that you just went out to get coffee
or you went to work

but yeah i know that it wasn’t real
that’s why i stay awake in the nighttime
so i know i don’t get disappointed
by the morning
when i wake up and you’re not there
yeah cus you know this life gets a bit difficult at times
yeah i don’t think i’m coping and i think that i’m lost
yeah t**tering on the edge of suicide
like yeah do i do it, or do i wait to die

cus it feels like you picked out the gems from my bones
i was so beautiful now i’m empty, all alone
cus you love to put your two hands in my insides
and you push me on the stage where i’m blinded by the light

yeah i’m tripping on my own tongue trying to find the words
just to tell my family that i’m not ok, i hurt
tell me when was the last time that anyone cared
probably when you read my eulogy when i’m f*cking dead

everyone has their opinions on why i takes these f*cking drugs
yeah just to feel numb, so i can’t give a f*ck
i’m sick of overthinking about everything in my life
and you know you’re f*cked up too

[$lothboi]
these walls are closing in
losing all my breath
thinking did i live a life without an end

gasping for a breath
fighting for my friends
f*ck i gotta make it
i ain’t ready yet

gotta make amends
cannot fly again
off the handle
man i’m f*cking losing it

grounded by a bend
blacking out again
sober up until it happens all again

f*cked up i need to lay low
beta*blockers with the faygo
anxiety got me f*cked up
with these fake thoughts screaming lame*o

so i close my eyes till it fade away
open up and it’s another day
another day issa another waste
man i f*cking hate, that i think this way

- lothboi rivilin lyrics

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