intro: news report - lønely juan lyrics
[news transcript]:
good evening, welcome to death and rebirth news. tonight we are diving into the very problematic and sensitive topics of suicide and murder. recent developments around the city of cleveland, ohio show a despicable rise in youth suicides and slayings; in an extremely short time period of just thirteen hours. cleveland’s eastside residents are also reporting that they bеlieve the sourcе of all this sinister energy seems to be the spiritual concept of karma. karma; described by many as the phrase, “what goes around, comes around” is the point of ones actions catching up with them. documents show that the cleveland rapper lonely juan might just be the culprit behind all of this
lonely juan, government name taijuan tyson, released his final album “karmic murder tapes” thirteen hours right before his untimely death in october 2023. you see, the slayings began to pick up thirteen days after the album’s release by an influx of 25 percent. every victim of these horrific and heinous murders also just so happened to have streamed juan’s album exactly 13 hours before their deaths. the cleveland police and homicide unit picked up on these patterns, stating that it was symbolic*like, similar to an arithmetic sequence
juan’s album possesses wicked imagery mocking the crucifixion of jesus christ, and the lyrics detail satanic references and rituals. the united nations internationally condemns streaming any of lonely juan’s music until further notice
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