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a selfish kind of love / act i finale - london workshop cast 2018 lyrics

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[robert nozick * spoken]
sure, the government has no right to force you to be kind, but sometimes you just ought to be nice!

[ayn rand]
nice?
nice?!
this is why you have not defeated john rawls yet! when you have your own ambitions, you must show no mercy!
[sung]
you must be selfish
value only what’s good for you
from a rational point of view
it’s the moral thing to do

don’t love thy neighbor
you’ll end up as a sacrifice
charity is a deadly vice

[nozick]
that’s your selfish advice?

[rand]
i’d never live for anyone else’s sake
i don’t expect you’d live for me

[nozick * spoken]
how can you be sure it’s right to be selfish?
[rand]
it feels so good

[nozick]
so i should put myself above others?

[rand]
yes, of course. how does that sound?

[nozick]
epistemologically unsound

[rand]
if you disagree with me, then you must be irrational, and i can only love you if you are rational and selfish
[sung]
love is business
it has terms and conditions
you must pay with your virtues
for this is a selfish kind of love
it is wrong to be led by

[nozick]
emotions

[rand]
you must follow your reason alone
i love you, but i swear this
[nozick]
devotion

[rand]
is rational
that’s all you must have known
[spoken]
if we do not share values, then when we make love, it will be empty, meaningless. if you try only to please me, we will both be unsatisfied

[nozick]
so i should try to gratify only myself?

[rand]
exactly

[nozick]
oh, that rocks

[rand * sung]
you don’t deserve love if you’re weak

[nozick]
i’m not!

[rand]
kind of
if i cannot be proud of
[nozick]
who, me?

[rand]
don’t expect to have my love

[jean*jacques rousseau * spoken]
together we form a single indivisible sovereign. we can do whatever we want, with anyone we want!

[fairness]
you mean there are others?

[rousseau]
each in giving himself to all gives himself to none!

[john rawls]
i don’t need fairness to write my theory!
[sung]
will i have my theory?
my theory of justice

[nozick]
i will dispute it
(rand: good!)
(rawls: i know i can do it!)
and then i will refute him
(rand: yes!)
and that’s how i’ll destroy him
(rand: oh yeah!)
for this selfish kind of love
(rawls: i bet you my books will fly off the shelf!)

[rand * spoken]
stop talking about “our love.” there is no us, there is only you and me * private individuals loving each other out of rational self*interest

[rousseau]
oui, mon cheri, remember:
[sung]
now that you’re free, let’s choose the life you want to lead
babe let’s take a vote on it, i know you’ll want to be with me

[rawls]
all i need to do is remember what the philosophers said!

[locke]
it’s the state of nature, nozick’s on his way
when he beats you with his theory he’ll destroy your name

[rawls]
i must think harder!

[socrates]
philosopher*kings are good and wise!
mister can’t do it if he tries! [?]
you can’t just sing an improvise if you want harmony
harmony!

[simultaneous]
rawls: i can’t write this theory
chorus: he’ll have his theory, his theory of justice
he’ll have his theory, his theory of justice
fairness: i think i’ve found my philosopher*king

chorus: he’ll have his theory, his theory of justice
he’ll have his theory, his theory of justice
nozick + rand: so we’ll be selfish
rawls: justice as fairness
fairness: we’ll write it together
we’ll make a classic

rand: we will vanquish that wretch, we can
there’s no way rawls will solve our plan [?]
rawls: is there fairness in justice?
nozick: be selfish

[rawls]
i can’t do it

[fairness]
well, at least, babe, you’re not my teacher

[rand + nozick]
a selfish kind of love

[chorus]
at least you have a
the*o*ry

- london workshop cast 2018 lyrics

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