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vision and delirium - lo-ruhamah lyrics

i am the hammer that smashes the wall
i am the wound that refuses to heal
i am the hatred of a son for his father
i am the father who k!lls his own son

i have come to surreal depths of darkness
the inescapable mouth of the vacuum
the crushing infinite black weight on every point of my life
infinity of pain on every cell of my body
pressure of infinite regression downward
on every particle of my being
nightmarish despair with no apparent cause
but beyond nightmares
profoundly immanent and more real than real
in the midst of the death of reality
the looming faces of nameless beings
who look and look and leer
and in the terror of absolute darkness
presences swarm around me (teeming chasm)
and slash at me with the searing white pain of blank fire
and the looming torment of nonbeing that yet is forever unable
to rid itself of the hum of consciousness
lacking definite awareness – the nauseating torment
of a blank white consciousness spilling forever into darkness
oh, this terrible weight under a demonic void
in these last moments before i spill
over the edge into the hole
father, can you still hear my voice?

- lo ruhamah lyrics

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