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light a candle - lil dimwit lyrics

how can we change the world
there’s something we all can do
a small thing each and every day
that starts with me and you
so if you wanna make a change
if you can find it in your hearts
it’s not big things it’s little ones
that’s where true change starts

light a candle when you’re p**ping
light a candle when you’re not
light a candle when you’re p**ping
especially when the p**p is hot

on your own
on the porcelain throne
scrolling through your phone
with a splashy plop
it makes it’s drop
you’re no longer alone
with this terrible deed
you havе also freed
a stench straight out of h*ll
my hope is that you
heed my plеad
and cover up the smell
light a candle when you’re p**ping
light a candle when you’re not
light a candle to start soothing
your new brown friend who’s in a knot

grab that yankee candle
gathering dust up on the mantle
don’t be obtuse
put it to use
for the good of those around you
like a wet rat through the sewers
oh it slides out nice and smooth
it’s odor can be rectified
with lime and fresh vermouth

you might be asking
how will lighting a candle when i plop a p**py in my friends guest bathroom during their birthday party change the world
well
let me tell you

it will susan
or at least find some frebreze under the sink and give that spritz a spray
or even pour some windex straight into the toilet
i’m talking about basic human respect
come on susan
it’s not even that difficult
it’s common courtesy
this simple human function
should not be shared or seen
so mask the smell and cover it
with a waxy wonderland
when you come out we won’t think about
what you just did with your hand
ew

light a candle when you’re p**ping
(it will change the world)
when the smell’s worse than you thought
(cover up that smell)
light a candle to conceal
(don’t let anybody know)
what just came out of your secret slot
(i’m talking about your b*tthole)

before you turn the handle, light a candle
you can flush it away but the smell will stay
the scent of rose could save a nose
when you squatty on a potty don’t give it another thoughty

light a candle
have you lit your candle
no
well then go go
go light the candle
i still can’t breath
oh gosh
please light your candle
fine
fine okay
i’ll light your candle
i’m coming in
a lighter
does anybody have a lighter
oh for the love of all things holy
oh look a match
an old match
here we go

we’ve lit the candle
light a candle

- lil dimwit lyrics

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