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birthday bitch/my dick is flaccid and hard - lil chromozome lyrics

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[intro]
lil chromozome: i’m finally eighteen now. took long enough. but you know what that means. i can now do anything i want! and the government cannot arrest me for it. it’s called freedom of speech. but now i must sing a song on this jolly day. grandma, stay right there and listen to this

[verse 1]
going on a date to outback steakhouse
my girlfriend challenges me to a booty shakedown (what!?)
if she ain’t paying i’m throwing her out
i take control of the entire restaurant (you can have it!)
i beat my spouse
she’s going to a school wearing a blouse
i’ll blow up the house
giving crackers to a mouse

[verse 2]
suck his c*ck till he sneeze
pull his cheeks out he feels the breeze
l!ck my lips im gonna tease
im not british ill dump the tea
get a prostate exam cause im 40
shoot the kids at school like rick and morty
take a break because im feeling snorty
jeffery dahmer on the block im getting h*rny (ahhh)

[interlude]
da*duh*da*doo
da*duh*da*doo
da*duh*da*doo
with a side of fried biscuits!
[verse 3]
pulled pork out of his assh0l*
smells like sh*t ill eat it whole
bend over girl ill eat your hole
is that a skid mark? wtf
chocolate ice cream in the toilet
weiny hut junior im getting lit
sing to me cause im the birthday b*tch
spank my ass cause i had to itch

[verse 4]
he tried to leave the building but i blocked his way
he tried to claim that he wasn’t really g*y
i pulled him to my room because i was now 18
i got ready to f*ck him and the thought made my booty steam

[interlude]
oh woah woah woah
oh woah woah woah
oh woah woah woah
oh woah woah woah

[outro]
lil chromozome: oh that was straight fire on the f*cking track!
and now that i’m eighteen, i can finally f*ck as many people as i want. grandma, come here!
grandma: i finally don’t have to wait any longer. ram me
lil chromozome: oh i’ll do more than ram you. i will destroy your organs. now prepare for your life to be ended
*violent *n*l noises*

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