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the cord - leanne o’sullivan lyrics

i used to lie on the floor for hours after
school with the phone cradled between
my shoulder and my ear, a plate of cold
rice to my left, my school books to my right
twirling the cord between my fingers
i spoke to friends who recognized the
language of our realm. throats and lungs
swollen, we talked into the heart of the night
toying with the idea of hair dye and suicide
about the boys who didn’t love us
who we loved too much, the pang
of the nights. each sentence was
new territory, like a door someone was
rushing into, the gl-ss shattering
with delirium, with knowledge and fear
my mother never complained about the phone bill
what it cost for her daughter to disappear
behind a door, watching the cord
stretching its muscle away from her
perhaps she thought it was the only way
she could reach me, sending me away
to speak in the underworld
as long as i was speaking
she could put my ear to the tenuous earth
and allow me to listen, to decipher
and these were the elements of my mother
the earthed wire, the burning cable
as if she flowed into the room with
me to somehow say, stay where i can reach you
the dim room, the dark earth. speak of this
and when you feel removed from it
i will pull the cord and take you
back towards me

- leanne osullivan lyrics

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