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the grass is always greener - lauren bacall lyrics

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[jan donovan, spoken]
what can i tell you?
you’re tess harding for god sakes!
i’ve never done anything really important in my life the way you have

[sung]
i’ll bet your friends are all celebrities
that’s wonderful!

[tess harding]
what’s so wonderful?
you can make a pot roast
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
first, you brown an onion
is your picture up at sardi’s?
that’s wonderful!

[t]
what’s so wonderful?
you can clean an over
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
first, you get the ez off
[both]
oh!
the grass is always greener
on somebody else’s estate!
ah!
the meat is always leanеr
on somebody else’s dinnеr plate!

[t]
but you can sew a b*tton on
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
bet you’ve been to discos
that’s wonderful!

[t]
what’s so wonderful?
first, you take a valium!
i can see you planing picknicks
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
eating at the white house
that’s wonderful!
[t]
what’s so wonderful?
first, they pass the jelly beans!

[both]
oh!
the grass is always greener on somebody else’s front lawn!
oh!
somebody else’s wiener always has a lot more relish on!

[j]
you saved the whales in new foundland
that’s wonderful!

[t]
what’s so wonderful?
you can run a household
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
first, you have a breakdown!

you’re always in the magazines
that’s wonderful!
[t]
what’s so wonderful?
you can hold a husband
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
there’s more to life than husbands

[t]
i could use a husband

[j]
you can have my husband

[t]
i’ve already had your husband!

[both]
ah!
it makes you kind of teary!
ah!
they ain’t n0body deary!
the grass is always greener
in some*
*one
else’s yard!
it’s hard!

[j]
i’ll bet you always ride in limousines
that’s wonderful!

[t]
what’s so wonderful?
you have time for luncheons
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
first, you sell the tupperware!
the public wants your autograph
that’s wonderful!

[t]
what’s so wonderful?
you raised a teenage daughter
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
first, you find her diaphragm!

[both]
ah!
the grass is always greener where some other tenant pays rent!
ah!
the t**th are always cleaner in somebody else’s polident!

[t]
do you know who your neighbors are?
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
you know rona barrett
that’s wonderful!

[t]
what’s so wonderful?
first, you keep your mouth shut!

bet you squeeze the charmin
that’s wonderful!

[j]
what’s so wonderful?
you can make a headline
that’s wonderful!

[t]
what’s so wonderful?
i’d rather make a pot roast

[j]
so go and brown an onion

[t]
and have some peace and quiet

[j]
you’ve already had my husband

[both]
ah!
everyone’s a victim
of
this
docky little dictum!
the grass is always greener
in some*
*one
else’s
yard!

it’s hard!

- lauren bacall lyrics

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