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sticks and horse turds - larry the cable guy lyrics

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hi, this is larry the cable guy and i got me a puppy dog for christmas two years ago. every christmas, i think of this puppy dog

this poem, about my puppy dog, is called ‘my dog likes sticks and horse t*rds’. goes like this: *coughs* sorry, i’m* just breaks me up when i think about it

i spend lots of money on dog food
i think that’s so absurd
’cause that ungrateful dadgum dog
likes eating sticks and horse t*rds

my dog has fat*free food
it also helps his breath, i heard
but my dog couldn’t give a d*mn
he likes sticks and horse t*rds
animal writers say dogs are just like humans
and i think their vision’s blurred
’cause i like burgers and fries
my dog likes sticks and horse t*rds

dogs don’t care about what they eat
sometimes they’ll eat a bird
give ’em a turkey at thanksgiving
dadgum thing’ll come back with a horse t*rd

i like tipping strippers (that’s right)
redheads are preferred
dogs don’t care about naked girls
they’re content with sticks and horse t*rds

god bless sticks and horse t*rds
my dog’s two favorite things
expensive dog food, he don’t need
unless alpo makes ‘stick and horse t*rd’ feed

git*r*done. that’s a good poem right there

- larry the cable guy lyrics

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