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santa clause does not exist - kyle rencher lyrics

[intro]
as we delve into this album
here is a message we deliver to young children

[bridge]
yeah
santa, does not exist
no
ay, yeah, yeah, yeah
(oof)
[verse 1]
okay, santa clause does not exist, i’ll tell you why
one day, on christmas eve, santa was checking his list
but, during this time, the elfian plague was goin’ around
it finally got to an elf’s brain, so the elf sucked a candy cane into a spear
so, while santa was listing, the infected elf pulled up on him with the spear
thеre was blood
the elf’s spеar went right through santa (oof)
he died
so the triumphant elf stole his clothes
threw his body in the chimney of an unfortunate kid
the chimney was bl**dy (oof)
the elf went on a reindeer massacre whilst the family got arrested
no christmas was had ever again (no)

[chorus]
(oof)
santa clause does not exist (no)
santa clause does not exist (no)
santa clause does not exist (no)
santa clause does not exist (no)

[verse 2]
ever since that christmas day, it has never been the same
santa clause is dead is the best album no debate (no)
(oof) if your offended that’s the sound you make
the christmas spirit in this song is very good
if your offended by verse 1, good
because get your refunds today
‘cause you can’t handle the next songs
the christmas lights are all useless
santa clause is dead, so stop making santa stuff
it is rumored that the murderous elf still haunts the sky today
and is the leading cause for christmas deaths (oof)
so, be cautious (yeah)
you might be the next victim, so keep your doors, windows and chimneys locked
before krampus the elf gets you (oof)
[chorus]
(oof)
santa clause does not exist (no)
santa clause does not exist (no)
santa clause does not exist (no)
santa clause does not exist (no)

[outro]
(oof)
(oof)
(oof)

- kyle rencher lyrics

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