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bobbie jean - kvng moses lyrics

[verse]
i have nightmares of my first days with you in college station
my momma’s still up in north carolina, i could tell things were complicated
so you signed me up for school, i met all my teachers, i didn’t know what to feel, i couldn’t really place it
but i do remember feelin’ liberated to be away from my stepdad, dude was crazy
you took me home, you made me supper, everything had seemed fine
i wasn’t stayin’ with you permanently, so i slept on the couch in the meantime
i thought things were goin’ alright, this ain’t nothin’ new, i’m used to transitions
then i witnessed how you treated all my cousins, and i saw that everything had panned different
’cause you disciplined me for everything i ain’t even do
i was treated like a male cinderella when i seen you
ask my family members, and they’ll tell you that she didn’t mean to
guess she had favorites, and i wasn’t one of them, the pain was nothin’ but a preview
over time, you started pickin’ at me, hopin’ you would get a forced reaction from me
anything other than silence would warrant a whoopin’ from you, and done passionately
i remember feelin’ bad ’cause when you got sick, you really didn’t matter to me
but then you died, and it felt like it was my fault, you can’t imagine this grief
this tragedy happened to be what established my habits, the need to be rappin’ to ravage my guilt
for all of the attitude when i was mad at you, how did i manage to stab you, i ill
the madness i felt turned to confusion the moment i learned that you passed, it was real
my anger had turned into pressure ’cause i felt responsible, i felt this at age twelve
i know you love me, but why did you act like the love that you gave me was sheltered and limited?
i know i didn’t make it easy for you ’cause i got defensive when i felt you trippin’
it really conveyed to me, maybe you hated me, or you was disciplinin’ me creatively
maybe i, i don’t know, i mistakingly viewed what you did, call it mental latency
i was too young to understand the reason [?] everything, no matter how drastic
i remember goin’ to your funeral and bein’ overwhelmed just from seein’ you layin’ in that casket
see, my mind went numb, my tear ducts swollen
the air turned thin in my lungs from emotion
i was so hurt, the pain was so potent
i felt like every nerve in my heart had exploded
[chorus]
sayin’ i ain’t mad would be a lie
and i don’t know if i’ll ever be just fine, yeah
i would like to think in time, i’d learn to do my stripes
you know what, i don’t even know if i’ll ever be fine
i would like to think it will be in time
but i don’t even know if i can come back from that road
i don’t even know

- kvng moses lyrics

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