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kunt and the gang megamix - kunt and the gang lyrics

‘yo, kunt and the gang, trip it up one time!!’

i wanted a record deal but i was too rude
i-i-i-i-i- i wanted a record deal but i was too rude
i-i-i-i-i- i wanted a record deal but i was too rude
i-i-i-i-i- i wanted a record deal but i was too rude

i wanted a record deal but i was too rude (i’m getting out my c-ck)
i wanted a record deal but i was too rude (i pull my foreskin back)
i wanted a record deal but i was too rude (i reveal my acorn)
i wanted a record deal
have a wank, have a wank, have a motherf-cking wank
what do you do in the middle of the night
when it’s dead, dead quiet
and your mums asleep and your dad’s asleep
and the door is shut and the light is out and the room is dark
the curtains drawn and you’re on your own
the bed is warm in your dreamless room
and your hand’s restless and your knob is hard
have a wank, have a wank, have a motherf-cking wank
come on, come on
come and have a wank with me (i’m thinking of ladies)
come on, come on
come and have a wank with me (playing with their vulvas)
come on, come on
come and have a wank with me (and inserting objects)
come on, come on
come and have a wank with me (into their women’s areas)

f-cksticks, mother’s c-nt, mother’s c-nt, mother’s c-nt
f-cksticks, mother’s c-nt, mother’s c-nt, f-cksticks
now my grandad had a word he used when things went wrong
to introduce this word to you i put it in a song
now every time this word gets used his memory lives on
i’m about to tell you what it is so you can sing along
(f-cksticks) when i miss an open goal in five-a-side
(f-cksticks) when i lost my hard on’s after nan had died
(f-cksticks) when the teacher’s told me that i was no good
(f-cksticks) when the ‘old bill caught me wanking in the wood
(f-cksticks) when i came a’tumbling off my bmx
(f-cksticks) when i split my frenulum whilst having sex
(f-cksticks) when some smart -rs-d b-st-rd gives me my comeuppance
(f-cksticks) when it’s been ages since i’ve seen a ladies tuppence

f-cksticks, mother’s c-nt, mother’s c-nt, mother’s c-nt
f-cksticks, mother’s c-nt, mother’s c-nt, f-cksticks

you look really nice
i’ve got some advice
take your skirt off and pull your pants down
’cause i’m gonna lick you out
i can see you think i’m fit
and i can sense you’d like a bit
well take your skirt off and pull your pants down
’cause i’m gonna lick you out
i’m gonna lick you out
i’m gonna lick you out
take your skirt off and pull your pants down
’cause i’m gonna lick you out
yo i’m gonna lick you out
little kunt’s gonna lick you out
wank the dog will even lick you out
if you smear some chum up your clout (bring the horns back)
last friday night i was due out on a date
but unfortunately i got home really late
i didn’t have time for a bath or a shower
there’s only one thing that can save us
it’s just like a shower but it’s over the sink
the only thing that gets washed is shiny and pink
if there’s a possibility of f-ll-t– you have to make sure
that your knob doesn’t smell like quavers (quavers)
a gentlemen’s wash
a gentlemen’s wash
if you think there’s a half a chance your c-ck might get a nosh
pull your pants to one side
wash the member they hide
and that’s a little gentlemen’s wash
beards, beards beards
beards, beards beards
beards, beards beards
beards, beards beards
beards, beards beards

men with beards
what are they hiding?
could i handle the truth if they chose me to confide in
or would my dead body be found by a railway siding?
where i’ve been murdered by a man with a beard
murdered by a man with a beard
they put porno mags in the bushes in the woods
they interfere with kids and make them say thank you afterwards
they hang about in parks, wait until after dark
jump out of the bushes and then f-ck you for a lark
men with beards, beards, beards, beards
shave my pussy
sh-sh-shave my pussy
sh-sh-shave my pussy
shave it, shave it
i’m tired of when i’m licking out a ladies underneath
i’m always getting curly pubic hairs stuck between my teeth
i want a girls who bit doesn’t look like robert smith
it’s a shaven haven that i am craving
(it’s a shaven haven that he is craving)
it’s a shaven haven that i am craving
over hairy beavers i’ma fed up slaving
for a baldy ding dong, myself i’m saving
it’s a shaven haven that i am craving
(it’s a shaven haven that he is craving)
when i was up the loft
i came across a box
that when i opened up stirred mixed emotions in my c-ck
it felt a little hard but it felt a little soft
next thing that i know i was feeling sexy up the loft
now i unzip my fly
and pull out my jap’s eye
i have a little wank and i have a little cry
i’m wanking over a pornographic polaroid of an ex-girlfriend who died (grotesque crying sounds)

[“come on kunt, you’ll be alright”
“but i really miss her little kunt”
“if you tell me a bit more about that photo it might help you get over her”
“alright then little kunt, i’ll give it a go”]
i met this girl on myspace
she was sixteen and a half
she said that i was well buff
and that i made her laugh
so i sent her a picture of me wanking in the bath
i think i misjudged the situation
she didn’t wanna see my soapy masturbation
please don’t gr-ss me up to tom
there’s a lot of perverts on the internet
that try to chat up girls and get their ding dongs wet
i am one but don’t tell my mum
’cause if she finds out then i’m gonna get done
there’s a lot of perverts on the internet
that try to chat up girls and get their ding dongs wet
he is one but don’t tell his mum
’cause if she finds out then he’s gonna get done
go on then
just this once
use my -rs-hole as a c-nt
use my -rs-, use my -rs-, use my -rs-, oh use my -rs-
go on then
just this once
use my -rs-hole as a c-nt
use my -rs-, use my -rs-, use my -rs-, oh use my -rs-
come on
penetrate me
make me feel like stephen gately
but don’t push it in too deep
or you’ll end up with my shit around your brim
go on then
just this once
use my -rs-hole as a c-nt
use my -rs-, use my -rs-, use my -rs-, oh use my -rs-
go on then
just this once
use my -rs-hole as a c-nt
use my -rs-, use my -rs-, use my -rs-, oh use my -rs-hole
as a kunt and the gang megamix!

- kunt and the gang lyrics

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