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i want to do a poo at paul's - kunt and the gang lyrics

everybody defecates
it’s just something that we do
you pull your pants down, your r*ct*m opens
and faeces passes through
i myself, go once or twice a day
and each time i feel the need
i pack a rucksack and head round paul’s
with speed, so i can do the deed

because
i want to do a poo at paul’s house
i want to do a poo at paul’s
if anyone said otherwise
i’d suggest they must be fools
i go there for the ambiance
and i stay to lay some stools
if i could pick a bog where i could lay a log
i’d always do a poo at paul’s

it’s got a lovely air freshener
that gives off a lovely scent
it smells of pine, not human sh*t
that’s excellent, not excrement
but i think paul’s mum is getting peeved
with me turning up touching cloth
with a rucksack full of books and mags
to read while i curl one off
i want to do a poo at paul’s house
i want to do a poo at paul’s
because no other toilet quite compares
i’d even say it rules
i’ve had number twos in lots of loos
yes i’ve answered nature’s calls
if i could choose a site where i could do a sh*te
i’d always do a poo at paul’s

one time i visited a public loo
i didn’t like it at all
there was a man playing with himself at a urinal
who looked like george michael
they had shiny toilet paper
and i smudged cack up my b*lls
that’s never an issue with the soft toilet tissue
when you do a poo at paul’s

because
i want to do a poo at paul’s house
i want to do a poo at paul’s
nowadays i wipe front to back
to avoid the family jewels
i’d never sh*t into my hand
and smear it up the walls
if i had to plump for just one place to dump
i’d always do a poo at paul’s
i want to do a poo at
squeeze out a number two at
i want to do a poo at paul’s

- kunt and the gang lyrics

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