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don't stop me - act i: scene 4: second break - krista knight, dave malloy lyrics

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(ellie and zander spaz out of control. the rest of the contestants
gradually stop moving to stare.)

samson:
you can stop!

jaynie:
that means you can stop now

samson:
it’s a break. that means stop. that means stop if you want to stop

mo:
why aren’t they stopping?

(dj hits the air h*rn again. the twins keep dancing. dj lays it on the air h*rn.)

ellie & zander drop to the gymnasium floor like stones
(beat.)

mo:
oh no why did they stop?

(silence. the contestants gather around the fallen couple. samson jumps down to feel for a pulse. the band stands up and drags ellie and zander off.)

dakota:
wait * where are you taking them?

grace:
are they ok?

samson:
break! everyone we’re on break!

mo (slightly stunned):
break break break break *

grace:
can we check to see if they’re ok?

mo:
k k k k *

janelle:
what happened?

mo:
ah ah ah appened—

samson:
mo!

janelle:
do you think they’re in trouble?

cyrus:
we’re not in school

rogers:
it’s still school property

janelle:
did they break a rule?

harper:
maybe they passed out?

tye:
already?

grace:
we just started

janelle:
wait, are there any adults here?

tye:
seizure? my aunt gets seizures

samson:
i didn’t feel a pulse

dakota:
what? why didn’t you say that before?

samson:
or maybe i did. i failed cpr training

roger:
couldn’t take it? they couldn’t take it

grace:
but they were the best. they were junior ballroom champions of like highest caliber. three times

janelle:
od’ed maybe?

dakota:
i would just really like to know what’s going to happen to them now?!

dj:
i think you have an idea

dakota:
excuse me….what?

dj:
i think you know

dakota:
how would you be able to gauge the level of my understanding? is the dj f*cking with me? are you f*cking with me?

roger:
dakota, come on, some of our grandparents might be watching*

dakota:
sorry, roger, f*ing. i think the dj is f*ing trolling me*

dj:
why are any of you here?

harper:
we all have our reasons

roger:
yeah, you know, reasons

grace:
oh come on * we’re here because there’s no other way to win the prize

contestants:
the prize

janelle:
wait, why aren’t there any other adults here?

jaynie:
we don’t need adults * the rec committee of plain spring high’s student council has everything under control!

samson (hand over mic):
i knew it: a live telecast dance*a*thon is a legal liability

jaynie (hand over mic):
we had to do something * it was already may and the recreation committee had organized exactly zero events for the student body for the year and the higher ups at the student council were going to have a special vote to see if the three of us should be kicked out!

mo:
impeachment!

jaynie:
right

mo:
but we didn’t! because the topeka website admin! gave us all the instructions! for a dance*a*thon!

jaynie:
exactly

mo:
everything from what dj to hire to what music genres of history to research to how to make an economically viable fundraiser for plain spring high’s class of (insert upcoming year) senior class trip to burundi

jaynie:
you might even say it’s the best recreational event at plain springs high this year

(suddenly the beloved bolometer starts going totally nuts.)

samson:
what’s going on with the beloved bolometer? is it supposed to be making that noise?

jaynie:
those lights probably mean something

samson:
maybe the tubes are broken

jaynie:
mo, fix the tubes!

samson:
mo, adjust the lights*

mo:
what’s wrong with them?

jaynie:
they’re out of control

mo (reading off of perforated*edged readouts):
apparently we’re being downloaded in 47 countries. streamed in 75
on all 7 continents

jaynie (leaning in over mo’s shoulder):
whoa. 22 time zones

samson:
six million forty*five thousand refreshes a minute

royshanna (looking at phone):
apparently we’re huge with betting circles in korea

mo:
we’re popular with school children ages 12*16 in the united arab emirates

jaynie:
they love us at colleges in the northeast

roger:
do you think any recruiters are watching?

samson:
they’re streaming us in tiananmen and trafalgar squares

jaynie:
nbc is beaming this into sp*ce

samson:
we’re a hit

jaynie:
that’s good…right?

samson:
the more people partic*p*ting the bigger the prize

contestants:
the prize

mo:
that’s what they told us in topeka!

samson:
come on! who’s next? this isn’t small tatertots anymore. tell the netrunners why you deserve to win!

(grace tries to get tye to come with her to the commentator desk.)

grace:
tye? let’s go up there, tye! come on

tye:
…what’re you going to say?

grace:
that i’m grace wexler. and you’re tye. we’re partners

tye:
dance partners!

grace:
we’re going steady. you’re wearing my pin

tye:
i thought you said this was for my ascot

grace:
it is for your ascot

tye:
we said we weren’t going to be// exclusive yet*

grace:
*yet. it’s not exclusive yet! but that doesn’t mean i can’t have expectations. maybe they get fulfilled maybe they don’t! you said you’d come and you came! a little late, ok, but you came! tye spring

tye:
your dance partner

grace:
wink wink. i sadie’d you. is that a verb? sadied? “i sadied you?” i sadied you good. next we can exchange promise rings

tye:
grace!

grace:
i’m kidding. but totally unrelated * what’s your ring size?

tye:
grace!

grace:
what! just because it’s primarily a conservative christian creepy abstinence thing doesn’t mean we can’t reappropriate it!

tye:
where am i going to live if we break up?

grace:
i’d never ask you to leave if we broke up
tye:
i don’t want to love you while i’m living with you

grace:
you’re not living with me. you’re just temporarily staying with my family while you’re going through a hard time. you don’t have anything to worry about *

tye:
you don’t know that *

grace:
i know my mind completely. it’s a preternatural gift i have. i haven’t changed my mind about anything since i was 7

jaynie
look at it go * i think they like you * that means they like them right?

mo:
yeah they like them!

jaynie:
that’s what that means right?

harper:
cyrus, you and me next

janelle:
ok

harper:
cyrus!

cyrus:
i’m right here

janelle:
where are you going?

harper:
to do the whatever. shill ourselves. “shillourselves.” i made up a new word tm

janelle:
harper. wait. don’t leave me! i don’t go to school with any of these people

harper:
you need your own friends

janelle:
please no

harper:
let. go! isosceles triangle // janelle!

janelle:
isosceles triangle!

(roy and nicki are in front of the camera.)

royshanna:
she’s nicki but if you call her nicole she’ll get really p*ssed

nicki:
in a fun way

royshanna:
she’ll get p*ssed in a fun way

nicki:
that’s roy*tron

royshanna:
we use nicknames to show proprietary intimacy

nicki:
good phrase

royshanna:
we’re fast*tracked. they say there’s no fast*tracking * but we’re both on the advance track

nicki:
except you’re not in honors lit this year

royshanna:
it would be so much more fun if i was

nicki:
so much more fun!

(harper pushes royshanna and nicki away from the camera.)

harper:
times up, out of // the way

nicki:

royshanna (underneath previous line):
hey! hey! hey!

nicki:
there’s a whole gym here

royshanna (sucking in a bunch of air):
no need to suck up all the air in the room

nicki:
ha * yeah!

royshanna & nicki:
yeah!

(roy and nicki make like puffer fish and crack selves up as they exit
webcam sp*ce)

royshanna & nicki:
(fishy fishy fish fishy)

(harper perkins situates herself in front of a webcam. full glory.)

(at first janelle affords her a couple yards.)

harper:
harper perkins

janelle (trying to hold herself back):
(yup!)

harper:
i’m ready

janelle:
(ready. she’s ready.)

harper:
what do i say?

samson:
say your name

harper:
harper. new word. perkins

janelle:
and janelle duncan!!

harper:
no—janelle, we’re not partners

janelle:
that’s not fair! i came under that pretense of entering together * and now you’re shoving me off by myself?

harper:
cyrus is my partner. cyrus!

cyrus:
hi

harper:
tell them, cyrus

cyrus:
my name is cyrus

harper:
yeah. well. ok. good. so if you’re issuing your votes or love or points or whatever * this is the team that’s going to win

cyrus:
even if we’d be disgusted to know you could still love us

harper:
cyrus. no. shh

janelle:
i can’t believe you introduced yourself without me

harper:
we’re not on the same team

janelle:
….but we do everything together. me, you, and whoever your best friend is at the time

harper:
not this

janelle:
because you’re mad at me about cyrus

cyrus:
oh * janelle * i’m sorry if you thought, you know * i’m not even capable of * maybe you and i should talk before *

janelle:
i already told her

cyrus:
oh. everything?

harper:
there wasn’t much to tell. ha * that sounded really bad. ‘not much to tell.’

janelle:
you’re mad we had s*x

harper:
i’m not mad about that why would i be mad about that

janelle:
yeah just because you’ve been, always you’ve been saying, how uncool i am because i haven’t done it yet. now you can’t say that anymore! now you can’t lord that over me. we’re equals

harper:
oh my god? lord it over you? who ever even thinks like that?

janelle:
i don’t know—people—i guess—could think in terms of…s*xually active status. we’re equals

harper:
ok you know i am mad

janelle:
what why?

harper:
the thing is. well, i was kind of saving your virginity

janelle:
what!? for what?

happer:
i don’t know. i didn’t really know yet what i would need it for

- krista knight dave malloy lyrics

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