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hypoxia (beyond neptune) - kole xidas lyrics

[verse 1]
only writin’ this all out
to remember who i’m s’posed to be
been a year and some change
still ain’t returned to normalcy
i’m a cheap punchline
to a joke that isn’t funny
if i don’t wake up tomorrow
i’ll count myself lucky
bl**dy fingernails
can’t remember when you were wounded
pretend my problems surface level
but they’re always deeply routed
knife in my side protruding
man, i just want to feel included
so i’ll continue to bleed out
until the story’s concluded
mirroring my every move
except you don’t spеak the truth
i keep hoping you’ll improve
but it’s been all afternoon
and it’s truе that i’m a fool
but i ain’t that f*ckin’ stupid
cupid shot us both
but i won’t let your life be ruined too
pretending i’m not the one
who f*cked us both over
thinkin’ if i stop you bleeding out
we might grow closer
i’m a stupid piece of sh*t
and i use that as an excuse
so i’ll continue to decay
inside of the broken broken broken broken broken
[verse 2]
standing just a foot away
from entering the kuiper belt
hesitating ’cause i remember
the heartfelt moments
when we were together
but they’re hard to differentiate
with all this cloudy weather
constellations feeling blurry
i’m attached to a mistake
i’ve been losing motor functions
they keep saying take a break
but i won’t and i can’t
no matter how burnt out that i am
i’m a ghost living in fantasy
don’t give a sh*t i’m d*mned
to an eternity
aimlessly searching through the stars
if i forget who you are
maybe then i’ll be a better person
maybe i won’t be a burden
your wound will become a scar
or perhaps angel’s cigars
will create a curtain of smoke
and i’ll choke on the ashes
and stomp my glasses to pieces
scratches on my arms only deepen
as the season passes
weather forecast isn’t ready
but the weight is gettin’ too heavy
so i’ll be a bit petty
and blast foreword into empty sp*ce
flash frames of your face
don’t hit the same any more
ashtray’s don’t replace
your embrace
but i won’t return to shore
last names get erased
the further that i explore
packed trains soar through sp*ce
but i won’t go through that copper door
it’s a tempting offer though i have to admit
i’ve rejected better but i’d be remiss
to not at least consider one last kiss
before i’m swallowed up by the endless abyss
too easily reminisce
i’m a sucker for nostalgia
sp*ced out
as time flies by without ya
searchin’ for whatever i left behind
inside of my messy mind
(f*ck)
[outro]
i wasn’t blessed with any foresight
i’m a bumbling buffoon
ratings lower than a struggling cartoon
barely escaped my crumbling tomb
now i’m stuck with red balloons
as i follow triton i feel in tune
with the orbit of the moon (yuh)

- kole xidas lyrics

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