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keeping me down - kogz lyrics

[verse 1: complete]
what am i? i’m the reason ya often cry
when ya wanna try sleep but i’m keeping ya occupied
deep in ya noggin, i proceed with some rotten lies
even got you believing you ain’t leading a proper life
you need to just drop and die, you wouldn’t be missed
you just winge and be sooky, everybody thinks you’re a p*ssy ya b*tch
i heard he cut himself he couldn’t resist
he should have just slit his own throat, it would have been good if he did

you’ve put in a bit of effort to try and improve
but ya head and ya mind? forever a mind to abuse
sessions with psychs and medicine lightens ya mood
but ya know at any given second i might just intrude
whatever the time i mess with ya life when i choose
you have no friends so instead you rely on the booze
now ya writing a few suicide letters
but ya just rip em up ’cause you forget who ya writing ’em to

too tired to move, ya sweat as ya hide in ya room
under ya doona ya still in bed if its night or its noon
ya shut the blinds and you accept you’ve decided to lose
protected from light, you ain’t letting its vitamins through
this is it, there’s no separate vice you can use
you recognise the biggest threat to your life has been you
my name’s depression i don’t get or supply you the noose
i’m just a bruise left on ya neck when it’s tied to the roof
[chorus: bitter belief, kogz, both]
it’s just another night that i feel lonely (lonely, lonely)
and it’s keeping me down, down, down
down, down, down (and i feel so!)
it’s just another night that i feel lonely (lonely, lonely)
and it’s keeping me down, down, down
down, down, down (and i feel so!)

[verse 2: bitter belief]
awoken by a coma from a door knock
it’s her son tryna get in but the doors locked
he’s just worrying knowing his mum is complicated
every single conversation with her hits a sore spot
clouded with emotion, surrounded by fear
looking for a rope drowning in her tears
as down as she appears she realistically is
self loathing, hoping that she can fill up the fridge for her kids

but she can’t, she sits in the dark
her wrists and her arms have slits and marks
as she can’t, escape the misery dwelling and hate and pity
she’s never facing the fact, she’s numb with the venerability
instability strikes, what’s the price of validity
feeling like she never did any right, this is why
she’s gone broke she hopes for the life
she wants most for now it’s beans on toast for both these kids
or dry wheetbix it needs fixing
children can’t eat like this, and she just
misses the man, she saw leave
pops another pill in her hand, she needs more sleep
and falls weak to the substance, rubs the lamp
makes wishes for her mum and dad, maybe they could understand
what she has, what she hasn’t, what she’s battled
when she’s looking down the barrel and praying maybe the gun will jam

on her, she feels like this
like every single day this is real life sh*t
tight fist that she clenches, remembering the past
death to her memories, rescue remedy, uh!

[chorus: bitter belief, kogz, both]
it’s just another night that i feel lonely (lonely, lonely)
and it’s keeping me down, down, down
down, down, down (and i feel so!)
it’s just another night that i feel lonely (lonely, lonely)
and it’s keeping me down, down, down
down, down, down (and i feel so!)

[verse 3: kogz]
ya wanna know what it’s like with depression?
take a little ride in my mind for second
i fight with myself, the cycle is endless
i write ’cause it helps but the silence it deafens
i definitely hide when it’s time for attention
tension is high as i slice through my tendons
i’m barely alive don’t like my reflection
i’m stressed all the time yet i hide and suppress it
i felt as the walls close, knelt as the halls rose
watched as my whole world stopped and it all froze
frost bitten scared yeah i watched as the door closed
not yet aware that i lost where i call home
i felt lonely, i wept on my lonesome
the only one left in the depths of my ocean
i hope for a prayer yet n0body hears me
like n0bodys there yet i spoke to them clearly

i’m nothing, barely can i cope at all
hopeless my emotions only show through my broken doors
maybe i should sober up, basically a vacant sh*ll
maybe i could show some love if only though i hate myself
everydays h*ll i feel like i’ve gone nuts
house full of people yet feel like my doors shut
drowning in more drugs swallowing the hallowing
sound of just me tryna scream with my cords cut

it’s so easy to lose myself
i just sink p*ss, think this booze might help
till i’m thinking, who’s this dude i’ve become, too
dumb to admit that he’s blues have won i’m lost!

- kogz lyrics

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