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monsters of the midway - kleenex girl wonder lyrics

the time never came when our friends were the last to leave
it’s a solid approach but it’s somewhat hard to believe
the mummy is ready to exhale all the toxic gas
but we’re just a coin in his stomach, a snake in the gr-ss
the windows were broke and all the pistols that smoked were cleaned
the iron mirage was retracted and properly screened
all the cannons were loose all the channels were out of sync
as we stepped up to the plate, it was all we could think

and we crept thru the night on a demon of spades
and the showmanship was right in the everglades
i’m a patriot foremost, but i’m not a cheat
and the buzz was all “defeat”
when at first these scoundrels meet

and the ball’s enshrined on planet nine
at least for the time being
all the horns are played and fans dismayed
at what the screen is seeing
in a galaxy so far away
the monsters of the midway
it’s fourth and long, i hear them say
“kiss your -ss goodbye!”

the ornery tides washed ash-r- at a quarter to three
and herr d-ckerson said, “it’s time to turn up the tv!”
quite a hush was observed, not a creature was heard in the stands
as the blitz was on, no one saw it was gone from his hands
they made a no-look attempt, and exempt from the tempest was you
shot at 7:15 a.m. in a bankrupt petting zoo
you can tell all your friends but the chances are slim to none
i’ll be back in a flash with some cash, and some dudes and a gun

and the climate was soft, minus twenty degrees
when the whistle went off, i heard the sly valkyries
shooting down from above, out of nowhere they came
and to you, it’s just a game
but you know i don’t feel the same

as the coach proposed, the gap was closed
and madness soon erupted
but the spooks from sp-ce will move posthaste
the danger they’ve disrupted
as the better half decide to stay
the monsters of the midway
are here, today, and soon will play
so kiss your -ss goodbye

willie gault and jim mcmahon
the punky qb’s back again
singeltary and the fridge
come on baby, burn that bridge
gary fencik, hilgenburg
evidence has been disturbed
walter payton runs it in
we’ve got what it takes to win
now it’s time to meet again
bring d-ck butkus and your friends
final 46 to 10
emery moorhead’s the tight end
rocket ship is put to use
all you do is light the fuse

all of my friends are now simulations of the same
it was hard to get in but we scored some tickets for the game
the cupboard was full of a push and a pull and a fall
but she’s tells me i’m the one who lasted through it all

the game was fixed in ‘86
but we’re playing for real
and the monsters come with crooked tongue
and bodies made of steel
it’s on pay-per-view on your tv
the rematch of the century
and no one gets to watch for free
you can’t but you can try
and there is no reason why
but the limit is the sky
so kiss your -ss goodbye!

- kleenex girl wonder lyrics

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