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lost - kj (black heart) lyrics

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[verse]
skinny privileged white b*tch
attention seeking piece of sh*t
playing around wit a hknife
too p*ss to actually end his life
another attempt, he’s still alive
‘wow, what a d*mn surprise’

[verse]
i hate my f*cking self
i hate who i’ve become
i’m scared of myself
only i know all i’ve done
if i can’t even trust myself
then i can’t trust n0body else

[verse]
i wish that i could change
i wanna f*cking runaway
try to escape all of this pain
my self*hates turned me insane
i still blame you and probably always will
not the truth, but i guess that’s just how i feel

[verse]
why’d my brother have to die?
my best friend since i was nine
who the f*ck am i?
to contemplate on suicide..
the day that he flat*lined
where the f*ck was i?
i’m the one who should’ve died

[verse]
next day i got hospitalized
so i never got to say goodbye
he won’t hear me but it’d still be nice
i will be never be f*cking fine
at least never in my mind
to the day that i f*cking die

[verse]
thoughts of a psychotic kid
my brain couldn’t defend the blitz
so yeah the thoughts are back again
these nightmares got me panicing
i feel like i am anakin
i k!lled the men, the women, and the kids

[bridge]
popping pill to feel nothing
got addicted to the xanax
it left my brain f*cked & damaged
*
i’ve lost all my control
broken heart, abandoned soul
i wish these thoughts would f*cking go
just leave me the f*ck alone

[outro]
i’ve left people traumatized
i put the tear drops in their eyes
i tore them down with all my lies
i took all of their lives
and i left them dead inside
i’m just a demon in disguise…

[sample]
“what about you?
what is your dream?
what is… your dream?”
“i don’t… i don’t know, i uhh..
i don’t really dream that much
you kinda get tired…
tired of them not coming true, i guess
so…
i don’t really like… having them”

- kj black heart lyrics

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