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paralysed force - kiran leonard lyrics

i regret everything
immunise or attempt to evade
a doubt born of vicious thoughts
with untenable respite
forgoing insight
to fill a void that enraptures shame
to repress or push aside
a weight terrible and precise
and though it’s not the same
as keeping true to an endgame
the wild relief
of a voice smiling softly
comes to eclipse everything else
and gifts a version of myself
that it feels good to be

strength and happiness
are not ideals that dilate and glow with ease
it is not a casual act
to sustain them on the inside
to look for an exit
a quiet gaze that can help you float
serene and bright, is still detached
incapable and confined
and yet i close my eyes
extending to a vague light
and i’ll wallow and rave
in that sound another day
when reason has not worn so thin
and the joy that i’m measuring
is a noise i alone can emanate

to wait for another
to lead the way and to take control
of a soul against itself
and bring clarity for a while
is woeful and reckless
for there are faults you only fix alone
the extolled and missing phrase
an embrace will not define
and though it can’t be alright
to neglect and disguise (seams misplaced)
to whisper a name
conducts reverence through shame
and a spirit unseen grabs my hand
and absurd intolerance
sees me follow, and disseminate blame

- kiran leonard lyrics

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