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portrait - killvongard lyrics

self portrait

how’d it happen?
tragic
long line of addicts?
no
baggage
passive aggression
made magic
in the form
of this is what you get sharp darts
art scum bag
how’s that work?
seems backwards
but that’s standard
he ’98 jobs
you woz
that’s passion
i don’t think so
cancelled

how’d it happen?
habits?
yes, many
that’s average
what else?
family?
messy!
how much?
plenty!
so is everybody else’s in some form or fashion
deplorable actions
valid
and not so
therapized language might fill in the plot holes
every day macguffin’in
suffering for the love of it
it being art but
art’s not what it is
the “it’s not art”
it didn’t cause pain
in discount dark lord wardrobe change
& leave a trail of wreckage at your tendons
and expect the full attention & attendance of your friends
shortchanged
but i don’t even think i have friends
and any adversary’s only imagined
without one then i couldn’t be the protagonist
the thing is:
you had be somebody in order to be a has*been
who in the f*ck do you think you are?

who in the f*ck do you think you are?

okay
i was thinking bout the second verse while taking a p*ss
and thought if i include it i should change it to sh*t
’cause sh*t is more stark of an image to give
because this is the part where i’m supposed to get honest &
sh*t

okay i’ll try it again
i was thinking bout what it would be like to be dead
not like i wanna die
but who’d be crying and sh*t
who would post and r.i.p and who’d be silent and sh*t a
line out the door or
why wouldn’t x come and
y wouldn’t ignore
and i shoulda said something
i thought his friends would
or lying on the floor in a grief stricken fit
while buying out his discog
i used to wanna be tragic
& misunderstood
present as an addict
cause balance means normal
& normal means average
& average means wack & never wrote a classic
plastic
then it kinda happened
i clutched to my habits &
desperately masked it
time i’ll never have back
soaring and crashing
and honing the craft just wasn’t as important as purporting a passion
sh*t i was tryna be abstract
droning in excess
just a way to get away from
having to explain those deplorable actions

i’m a people pleaser
i’m an evil g*nius
i can be deceitful
i can be your best friend
i can be cerebral
or a real piece of sh*t
you know:
people
“temporary cast*members of a long running but little*seen production of a play called fleeting”

somethin like that

- killvongard lyrics

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