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dearly departed - killmanywaters lyrics

music’s reflection of health of an artist
to my mental health i say, “dearly departed
i’m sorry i threw you away for this garbage
i should have just listened, but f*ck it, i fought it”
i fought the depression aching in my bones
adhd ‘cause i swear i’m no clone
my anxiety, should’ve picked up the phone
‘stead of telling my family, “leave me alone!”
now i’m all alone, i’d rather be dead
just me and the voice in my head
gotta put ‘em to bed
‘fore i start hearing sh*t that they said
go crazy and jump off a ledge
man pardon my anger and curses
the pain in my verses
my brain is a he*rs*
and i may be berserk
but i’m aiming for worse
all you haters need work
‘cause i hated me first

i can’t stay on this earth ‘cause it’s making me hurt
i wanna lay in the dirt, blow my brain into spurts
i’m an angel who’s cursed
by satan, this adhd makes me unable to learn
i write on the page ‘cause it works
i escape with the verse
and i’m making these words my
way to convert this pain and anger and hurt
to say something inspirational, heard?
but what good is hope if it doesn’t exist?
i plummeted down a dark dungeon and it’s
smothering me and becoming my friend
now the unwanted guest is now in
and it lives in the back of my mind
i struggle with it but i have to go find
another option, can’t lose track of the time
actually, my
only way out is to blast myself, bye

i aim for the best
but still i miss
this pain in my chest
i feel no bliss
voices in my head
i hear ‘em hiss
i can’t get no rest from this
i feel like the stones i got no satisfaction
my life is a rotating action
i’m running in circles and tripping on hurdles
i want me a girl but i got no attraction
they say that i’m ugly as h*ll
oh well
they say that i may need some help
so help
don’t stand there and watch me drowning in my sorrow
show me there’s gonna be a brighter tomorrow
show me that my time has been given, not borrowed
tell me it’s the same: tomato, tomato

and tell me it’s ok to cry
and tell me it’s gonna be fine
and tell me it was nothing more than a dream
that morning my mother had died
and tell me it just takes some time
and acknowledge the fact that i’m trying
i tend to stay quiet but that doesn’t mean
you should keep on assuming i’m fine
‘cause sometimes i just wanna die
put a knife to my throat and commit suicide
i look in the sky and i ask god, “why can’t i
control these thoughts in my mind?” i try
but by the time he answers
i’ll be right by satan’s side
in h*ll and trapped in the dark
thinking my life was a crazy ride

i wish my life had no pain the way it used to be
sometimes i wanna run away and live my life completely free
sometimes i wonder what it’d be like without adhd
sometimes i struggle with the fact that this the way it has to be
i wish my life had no pain the way it used to be
sometimes i wanna run away and live my life completely free
sometimes i wonder what it’d be like without adhd
sometimes i struggle with the fact that this the way it has to be

- killmanywaters lyrics

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