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the great roberto - kevin bloody wilson lyrics

robbo was me knock about mate and a funny b-st-rd too,
there weren’t a thing that i don’t reckon robbo couldn’t do,
he’d pull on near on anything he could to make a quid,
but let me tell you ’bout the funniest thing i reckon robbo ever did,
we were p-ssed and broke in a country pub it was gettin’ closin’ time,
when a circus poster near the dartboard caught ol’ robbo’s eye,
he stared a while then laughed out loud and slapped me on the back
and said,
“mate i got the best idea i think i’ve ever had”,
he didn’t tell me too much more ’til that circus got to town,
but when he fronted in what he cooked up i was rollin’ on the ground,
he’d sewn sequins on his singlet, and on his under dungers too,
made a cape from an ol’ red table cloth and glued glitter on his boots,
and he just marched on to that circus ground as cheeky as you like,
and when he grabbed the midget by the ear i nearly p-ssed me
strides,
then with a really woggy accent, he lift into his height and said,
“go and tell your boss the great roberto has arrived”.

i was there the day the great roberto thrilled the crowd,
the kids all sh-t the women screamed the men said ‘f-ck’ out loud,
roberto f-ckin’ bullsh-t it was robbo f-ckin’ about,
’cause i was there the day the great roberto thrilled the crowd.

the boss come thunderin’ from his caravan one p-ssed off midget
taggin’ along,
stormed up and said to robbo, “what the f-ckin’ h-ll’s goin’ on!”
and like a real true blue professional robbo threw his head right
back and said,
“i’m the great roberto come a to show for you my act”,
and i thought sh-t you f-ckin’ rat bag robbo what you up to now?
as he asked the boss to go and build a hundred meter tower,
and for just a thousand dollars he’d perform his famous act,
a perfect f-ckin’ swallow dive into a concrete slap,
the boss’s mouth flocked open and he said, “mate if you’re for real,
and you do what you say you can then you got a f-ckin’ deal”,
and the midget stood there fumin’ ’cause he had an act like that,
except he dived into a water tank not a f-ckin’ concrete slap,
and robbo saw the midget spewin’ but he couldn’t give a f-ck,
“mr. midget you can help me, you can mix the concrete up,
and when you pour it on the ground make sure you spread it well,

just in case the roberto miss haha don’t want to hurt myself, haha”.

it took at least a couple’a days for them to build the tower,
but it didn’t take that f-ckin’ long for the word to get around,
’cause when robbo finally lobbed there, to do his famous dive
there was f-ckin’ people everywhere the c-nts had come for miles,
and when he stepped out in his sequin jocks a mighty roar went up,
but as he walked towards the tower, the roar turned to a hush,
and they all watched in ore and silence for what seemed like half an
hour,
as one by one and run by run robbo climbed the tower,
he give us thumbs up when he got there, just to let us know
the great roberto was about to dive so clear the decks below,
then someone yelled ‘he’s jumped’ and as he hurdled towards the
ground,
i sprung that f-ckin’ midget shakin’ sh-t out of the tower,
and when robbo crunched into that slope i thought that’s it f-ck he’s
dead,
but he lay there clutched his scon and moaned, “aww he f-ckin’
head”,
and as the boss knelt down and asked him, “does it always hurt like
this?”
i hears robbo moan, “dunno mate first time i done this trick”.

yeah i was there the day the great roberto thrilled the crowd,
the kids all sh-t the women screamed the men said ‘f-ck’ out loud,
roberto f-ckin’ bullsh-t it was robbo f-ckin’ about,
’cause i was there the day the great roberto thrilled the crowd.

- kevin bloody wilson lyrics

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