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the festival of life - kevin bloody wilson lyrics

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ah, the festival of life is ‘in’ to save my f-ckin’
soul

they don’t want me drinkin’ p-ss or screwin’ round no
more

but they’ve got f-ckin’ buckley’s chance i’m giving you
the score

still the festival of life keeps tryin’ to save my
f-ckin’ soul

it’s sat-rday afternoon at last, it’s what you’ve
waited for all week

relax and put the feet up, turn the footy on tv

you’re expecting vern and bluey round, they’ll probably
stay all night

a coupla mates and a coupla beers – aw, christ, this is
the life

well, here they are already, you just heard the car
door slam

you wedge yourself out of your chair, get up to let ’em
in

but it’s some w-nker that you’ve never met, with a
briefcase in his hand

some pr-ck just out of bible school, who thinks he’s
god’s right hand

halleluiah, hallelujah, hallelujah

chorus

ah, the festival of life keeps tryin’ to save my
f-ckin’ soul

they don’t want me drinkin’ p-ss or screwin’ round no
more

but they’ve got f-ckin’ buckley’s chance i’m giving you
the score

still the festival of life keeps tryin’ to save my
f-ckin’ soul

‘i’m elder robbins ‘n’ he’s elder pike ‘n’ we’d like to
talk to y’all

’bout eternal salvation, won’t take but a minute or
more

we got a book we think y’aii should read, ’bout how
y’all should live

my, what a charmin’ home y’all have – y’all mind it we
come in?’

‘well, i’d love t’invite yer in yer know, but the
joint’s a f-ckin’ mess

and there’s an orgy ragin’ in the lounge, and every
c-nt’s undressed!

and i’d love yer to meet the missus, shirl, but she’s a
bit crook in bed

she says she’s got a real sore throat through givin’
too much head!’

gobblegobble, gobblegobble, gobblegobble

repeat chorus

all snuggled up on sunday mornin’ and you wake up with
a h-rn

you grab the missus on the -rs-, oh, christ she feels
so warm

the scene is set, the mood’s just right, you’re about
to slip it in

then – (knock knock, knock) – there’s that f-ckin’ door
again!

‘good morning, sir, did i get you up?

sorry, i’m david and this is pam

we’re missionaries who’ve come to talk of man’s eternal
plan

and to discuss the holy future and reflect the holy
past.’

so you flash your d-ck and scream ‘i’ll holy shove this
up your -rs-!’

up your -rs-hole, up your -rs-hole, up your -rs-hole

repeat chorus

well it’s not like it’s just once or twice, it’s every
d-mn weekend

now how d’ya think they’d like it if we done the same
to them?

you know, turn up on their doorstep at a time they
least expect

try and ram our way of life down their f-ckin’ necks!

just imagine for a minute the reception that you’d get

with a couple of stick books in your hand and a carton
on the steps

and your missus chewin’ chewin’ gum in a really low-cut
dress

and you in thongs and overalls-you know, your f-ckin’
sunday best!

what a yobbo, what a yobbo, what a yobbo

repeat chorus

gidday, we’re p-ssed-up testecostacals, i’m kevin and
this is shirl

we’ve come to introduce you c-nts to a whole new
f-ckin’ world

we’ve come to preach the good news, we think it’s what
you need to hear

we’ll show you more fun in five minutes than you’ve had
all f-ckin’ year!

now you, sweetheart, you come with me and i’ll teach
you how to sin

and sister shirl, old sort, ‘ll suck your sav until
your ‘ead caves in~

aw sh-t, your missus just fainted, so we won’t bother
comin’ in

we’ll just p-ss off back to our place-just drop ten
bucks in the tin

‘nother carton, ‘nother carton, ‘nother carton

repeat chorus twice

- kevin bloody wilson lyrics

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