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the apprentice - kevin bloody wilson lyrics

gotta getta job get a real good job gotta get an
apprenticeship son,
that’s what me old man told me he said you’ll thank me
when ya done,
the lyin’ lazy old dole bludger he’s never had a job in
his life,
and he’s never been a f-ckin’ apprentice and he dunno
what it’s like…

when they pull me pants down ’round me ankles shave me
pubic hair,
grease me b-lls with old sump oil and chain me to a
chair,
hoist me up on the workshop roof and turn the fire hose
on,
he’s only the apprentice and we’re only havin’ fun.
what is he? he’s only the apprentice and we’re only
havin’ fun.

yeah then it’s off to the store with an order form for
a bucket of weldin’ sparks,
and a left handed hammer and a cork screw spanner and a
sheet of broken gl-ss,
and a can of striped paint to paint the sky hook ta
hang me push bike on,
he’s only the apprentice and we’re only havin’ fun.
yeah then it’s off to the office in me underpants for a
dip in the typin’ pool,
and see if they’ve got some plastic wrap for a female
fattenin’ tool,
or a cheesy m-ff burger with heaps of sauce and a randy
tart for lunch,
he’s only the apprentice and we’re only havin’ fun.
that’s why they pull me pants down ’round me ankles
shave me pubic hair,
grease me b-lls with old sump oil and chain me to a
chair,
hoist me up on the workshop roof then turn the fire
hose on,
he’s only the apprentice and we’re only havin’ fun.
some one sh-t in me sandwich box p-ssed in me thermos
flask,
singed me eyebrows off with an oxy torch stuck an air
hose up me -rs-,
pinched the wheels off me f-ckin’ push bike peirced me
ear with a rivet gun,
he’s only the apprentice and we’re only havin’ fun.

yeah i’m only the apprentice and i’ve put up with all
this sh-t,
and i’ll get through this apprenticeship if these
-rs-‘oles let me live,
and i can hardly wait for the day ’till i’m a tradesman
too,
and i’ll get me a f-ckin’ apprentice… he he… ya
know what i’m gonna do?

i’m gonna pull his pants down ’round his ankles shave
his pubic hair,
grease his b-lls with old sump oil and chain him to a
chair,
hoist ‘im up on the workshop roof and turn the fire
hose on,
he’s only the apprentice and we’re only havin’ fun.
what is he? he’s only the apprentice and we’re only
havin’ fun.
big finish, he’s only the apprentice and we’re only
havin’ fun.

- kevin bloody wilson lyrics

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