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i knew the bride (when she used to be a moll) - kevin bloody wilson lyrics

(i knew the bride when she used to be a moll,
i knew the bride when she used to be a moll)

well the bride looks a ripper in the outfit that her mother once wore,
and it f-ckin’ nearly fit her ‘cept the bride’s about another foot tall,
but that doesn’t really matter, all that matter’s round the middle it fits,
’cause like her mother when she wore it when she married now the
bride’s up the stick,
and i remember when i rooted it ’cause it was on our very first date,
it was her and her girlfriend and me and about ohh ten’a me mates,
they both knew what they were doin’ ’cause they dragged us all
down to the beach,
so we give ’em a root, and a joint, and two dollars each.

i can see her now steppin’ out of her jeans
she was dishin’ out frangers like a vendin’ machine,
but someone must’a copped a brombie ’cause she’s havin’ a foal,
i knew the bride when she used to be a moll,
i knew the bride when she used to be a moll, yeah.

and the groom’s not very happy you can tell the poor pr-ck wants to
leave,
and you can see he’s upset by the silver trail’a snot on his sleeve,
and when she dragged him down the isle, me mates and me stood
up and clapped,
sorta our way’a sayin’ “mate we appreciate ya coppin’ the rap”,
now her mom’s blind drunk and her ol’ man’s as full as a boot,
you know that’s the only time anybody’s ever seen the old c-nt in a
suit,
and it’s a bit of a shame but i suppose it’s just the look’a the draw!
the groom’s new into town and he weren’t even at the g-ngb-ng at
all.

now there’s me and me mates up the back’a the church,
we’ve been laughin’ so much that it’s startin’ to hurt,
and tonight i’d love to be a f-ckin’ fly on the wall,
’cause i knew the bride when she used to be a moll,
i knew the bride the when she used to be a moll,
(i knew the bride when…) shut up greg you’ll have us thrown out,
hahahahahaha.

now there’s me mates and me p-ssed up the back’a the church,
we’ve been laughin’ so much it’s f-ckin’ startin’ to hurt,
and just for a joke, and a bit of a prank,
we sent him some rope, and a bl–dy great plank so that when he
climbs on, he don’t f-ckin’ fall,
i knew the bride when she used to be a moll,
i knew the bride when she used to be a moll.

(i screwed the bride when she used to be a moll) so did i,
(i screwed the bride when she used to be a moll) so did i,
(i screwed the bride when she used to be a moll) greg,
(i screwed the bride when she used to be a moll) chook,
(i screwed the bride when she used to be a moll) scab,
(i screwed the bride when she used to be a moll) bugsy,
andy,
porky tailor,
north badsman yerra darts club, ooh except for the c-grade,
she had a keg on round at opie’s place, yeah,
(who f-cked the bride?)
shut up greg you’ll have us thrown out,
(who f-cked the bride? hehehe)
shut up greg for christ’s sake, her ol’ man’s lookin’ at us,
hahahahaha, hahahahahahaha, hahahahaha.

- kevin bloody wilson lyrics

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