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dedorkinization - kevin and the bikes lyrics

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i hate these dorks like crazy
one day i’m gonna burn them in effigy
i’m gonna teach them right from wrong
i’ll de*dork them, i’ll teach you how in song

began this process a while ago
before the start of our show
back in 1998 i started to wonder what would happen
if i were to de*dork them

oh god, these dorks so innocent
this process may not seem so innocuous
[?]
they’ll wonder where i went
but i can tell you it’s obvious

first you kick down their door
find some jawbreakers, set them on the floor
tie them to a string and have them lead to your house
when they run inside, there’s no room to hide

that’s when you take the [?] their mouth
then they’ll wake up tied to a chair
they’ll ask where’s the jawbreaker
you tell them they’ll get it after treatment
ludovico technique, here we come
open their eyes, that’s step one
and show them videos of what they’ve done

repeat this process for three weeks
only feed them crackers and cheese
then let them go into the wild

oh, they won’t dork anymore
oh, they won’t be such dorks
tell them that you love

dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization

when i first published the method
while they’re still living
and i’ll understand soon about eddy in my bas*m*nt
he’s been down there for weeks
i’ve seen some progress from him
i’ve got double d in a room upstairs
he’s in the process and tied to a chair
i’ve induced in paralysis, i’ve got him in fear
we haven’t restrained ed yet, he’s too strong
but we’ve gotta get everyone, only take himself

dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization

life had started to change
we captured ed on the run in peach creek
we’ve already released the eds and started to be more calm
it’s hygienic, he applies lip balm

double d’s still a g*nius and eddy always shops [?]
and he collects records and he doesn’t do scams
he’s really kind of a man, he recently told me that he’s okay
i’m starting to feel a bit like a featherweight
his brother, now, is visiting tomorrow
so i got rolf, jonny, and asked the kanker sisters
[?]

dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization
dedorkinization

peach creek won’t become one of them

dorks
dorks
stupid dorks

- kevin and the bikes lyrics

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